On the Fence About Coaching? A Therapist Shares What It Was Really Like (Trina Dolenz)
Feb 09, 2026Mindful Drinking in Your 60s & 70s: A Therapist’s Honest Take on Coaching, Skepticism, and Longevity
If you’re in your 60s or 70s and you’ve found yourself thinking:
“I know I’m probably drinking more than I want to… but I’m not trying to quit my social life, reinvent myself, or make this my whole identity,”
—You’re far from alone.
Most of the people I work with at this stage of life aren’t looking for labels or extremes. They’re looking for clarity, better sleep, steadier moods, sharper thinking, and a plan that supports health and longevity—without shame or all‑or‑nothing rules.
That’s why I was so grateful when Trina Dolenz joined me on the Sober Fit Life podcast to share what coaching with me was really like.
Trina is a couples therapist and relationship expert (VH1’s Tool Academy), author of Retool Your Relationship, and part of the Dr. Drew universe (including guest hosting Loveline). She’s also in her 70s and focused on longevity and brain health.
And she came into coaching with me the way many thoughtful, high‑functioning people do:
curious… and skeptical.
Why This Question Matters More After 60
For decades, alcohol can feel perfectly “normal.” Until—quietly—it doesn’t.
Many women and men notice subtle but persistent changes in their 60s and 70s:
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Sleep quality drops after drinking (even “just a couple”)
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Mood feels flatter or more reactive the next day
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Brain fog lingers longer
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Tolerance changes
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Evening habits feel harder to interrupt once they start
The question usually isn’t:
“Am I an alcoholic?”
It’s more often:
“Is this still working for me?”
And that’s where Trina’s story is so relatable.
“I was honestly very skeptical. My doctor recommended Maureen, and what surprised me was how supportive she was of my goals. It felt unique and refreshing—and that’s why it actually worked.”
—Trina (paraphrased from the episode)
Alcohol Is a Relationship, Not Just a Drink
One of the biggest shifts Trina talks about is realizing that alcohol isn’t just a beverage—it’s a relationship.
It’s connected to the things that make life feel good and familiar:
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The end‑of‑day exhale
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Comfort and reward
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Social connection
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Celebration and tradition
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Relief from boredom or loneliness
Like any long‑term relationship, it can quietly become the default—without us ever consciously choosing it.
Trina didn’t want a YES/NO or ON/OFF identity. She wanted to stay in charge of her goals, her curiosity, and her autonomy.
That distinction matters—especially when you’re smart, self‑aware, and not interested in dramatic reinvention.
“Cultured,” Nostalgic, and Hard to Question
One of the most interesting parts of our conversation was how Trina described her European upbringing.
Alcohol wasn’t framed as bad or dangerous—it was cultured, sophisticated, nostalgic.
When alcohol is tied to memory, identity, and a sense of who you are, questioning it can feel almost disloyal.
But questioning isn’t judgment.
It’s curiosity.
And curiosity is where real change begins.
The Trigger Nobody Likes to Admit: Boredom + Habit
For most people, the hardest moments aren’t weddings or dinner parties.
They’re quieter than that.
Dinner is over. The dishes are done. The house is quiet. You’re alone. You’re bored.
That’s where the habit loop lives.
And it’s also where change becomes possible—because once you can work with that moment (not the fantasy version of your life), everything gets easier.
What Coaching Actually Looked Like (From Someone Who Started Skeptical)
In the episode, Trina shares what surprised her most about the coaching process:
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No shame, no labels, no pressure to decide “forever.”
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A science‑based approach (so it’s not just willpower or “try harder”)
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Clear structure that adapts to where you actually are
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Practical tools for the moments that matter most: evenings, boredom, rituals, alone time
That’s the part many people don’t understand until they experience it.
Coaching isn’t hype. It’s a process—one designed to help your brain work with you, not against you.
Replacements That Still Feel Like a Treat
One of my favorite takeaways from Trina was how she approached replacements.
Instead of depriving herself, she built new rituals—drinks and routines that still felt special.
Because your brain doesn’t only want the alcohol.
It wants the cue:
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The glass
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The pour
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The fizz
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The transition from day to evening
A mindful break isn’t punishment.
It’s about building a new default your brain will actually accept—and enjoy.
If This Sounds Like You, Here’s Where to Start
🎧 Listen to the episode
If you’ve been on the fence about coaching, this is a true behind‑the‑scenes look—from a therapist who didn’t come in starry‑eyed.
👉Click to Listen on Sober Fit Life:
🧭 Take the quiz
Want clarity without labels?
Am I Drinking Too Much?
https://www.soberfitchick.com/ami
🗓 Want structure?
Join my next 6‑Week Alcohol Reset
The next small‑group reset starts March 1.
I cap it at 12 people so it stays personal, supportive, and effective.
Details + registration:
https://www.soberfitchick.com/alcohol-reset
Final Thought
You don’t have to decide “forever” today.
You can start by getting honest about the relationship you’ve built with alcohol—and choosing your next step with clarity, curiosity, and self‑respect.
And if you want to hear what coaching looks like from a real person who started skeptical, Trina’s episode is a great place to begin.
