Maureen SoberFitChick Coaching (00:00.43)
Hey everybody, welcome back to Sober Fit Life. It has been a while. I had to take quite a break and that's what I want to talk about. 2025 was quite a year and I learned a lot. So I'm going to share that with you and hopefully it will help you in your journey whether you are sober curious, you're working with me, you're thinking about working with me or you're already in an alcohol-free lifestyle. I just want to share these observations from 2025 and hopefully you'll find it helpful too. So,
On the day that I hit four years alcohol free, September 15th, 2025, I also had two spine surgeries at once. I had two cervical discs replaced. You can see that lovely scar for those of you who are looking. And so I'm like the bionic woman. I have two titanium discs in my neck. And at the same time, because it seemed like the right thing to do, I had a lumbar procedure.
laperotomy L5S1, which was supposed to be very minor, but actually caused a lot of complications. And they had to have another surgery November 13th. So all I to say, my body, my central nervous system was completely dysregulated and I had a hard time recovering and I was frustrated with that and everything that comes along with that. Also in 2025,
for Christmas, for the first time ever I went on a cruise over Christmas. I thought it'd be a very relaxing thing to do, post-surgeries, continue to recuperate. And it was a completely booze-filled environment. And so I want to share those observations because back when I was still drinking and considering changing my relationship with alcohol, some of the things that would hold me back would be travel. I would think there was no way, how am I going to do that? Right? And it would hold me back from even trying to
examine making a change with my relationship with alcohol. And then the third thing, the third lesson is I am about to turn 60. So I'm stepping into this new decade of my life. And I want to share my observations about that leading up to it, how I've been feeling about it. January 21st is my birthday. No presents, please. But I just want to share because back when I was drinking,
Maureen SoberFitChick Coaching (02:19.498)
a milestone birthday like this would have meant a major blowout. And so I want to share these observations and hopefully it will help all of you. But a quick update on my podcast. So SoberFitLife is going to make some changes. I'm going to have some shorter, more practical, more coach-focused episodes, but I'm still going to also have expert guests and people and share their stories about changing their relationship with alcohol so that maybe you might hear yourself in one of those stories.
And so I'm really looking forward to having a little bit of a different strategy as I go forward. But here's three things I learned in 2025. Lesson one, let's talk about surgery. So of course, the reason why you get surgeries is something is wrong. And the months leading up to my surgery, I had so much pain that I was hardly working out. And that was hard for this SoberFit chick because that is my number one central nervous system down regulating tool.
So I learned to put into place other tools that I often coach about, journaling, breath work, talking to people, right? Not isolating and certainly not drinking because a lot of times when we're stressed and we're nervous as I was building up to the surgery, we drink. And there was so much literature given to me by my surgeons about
how to prep for surgery. And I love that now doctors and surgeons are getting on board with this and they're saying, don't drink alcohol. Don't drink it several days before, don't drink it afterwards because it's only gonna cause inflammation and dehydration and hold back your healing. So that was in a way cool to see that because I've had other surgeries in my life and there was no warning for that. And trust me, I was an idiot back then and I would think, well, I could have some drinks because they're gonna hydrate me in surgery, right?
But that is not the case. is not how it works. And it was a rough recovery. And I'm glad I had all of my faculties. And I got down at times. I got frustrated. I couldn't work out. Like I said, I had to have a second surgery. But I want to assure you, and this is what I learned, and I look back like, wow, my perspective has changed. That in no way would alcohol have helped in any of circumstances.
Maureen SoberFitChick Coaching (04:39.222)
Yes, we all know it's a central nervous system depressant. So the first 20 minutes you would feel calm and down regulating. But then what happens after that is a whole cascade of events that we often talk about that just causes inflammation, dysregulation, sad mental feelings, right? Poor mental health, anxiety. None of that did I need going into surgery and certainly not after as I had to deal with the reality of actually how hard it is to have
two spine surgeries at once and then some complications. So I had to really work on breathing, downshifting and let me back up for a second. I had to really work on resetting my expectations. I had unrealistic expectations and my doctor kind of helped me with that, that I was going to be better in about 10 days and back to working out. That did not happen. So doing a double check on your expectations really helps.
Moving into this next decade and 2026, I have decided to pull back and really think about expectations so that I have more realistic view and I can have a more strategic plan of goals and things I want to accomplish and taking care of my health. So that was a big lesson for me. Unrealistic expectations only set you up for stress, disappointment, frustration and shame, right? So also putting into effect
Breath work, and I'm going to talk about a cool course I'm going to go to on January 23rd, and we're going to bring that person on to SoberFitLife to talk about breath work. Hydration, electrolytes. I always talk to my clients about getting electrolytes, so it's even more hydrating than just water alone. Protein, I had to really, really focus on getting in the right amount of protein for healing, right? And then this was a tough one for me because I've always been a pretty
intense exerciser or I had to back it off and just do light movement and stretching. And I had to work through a lot of that and felt a lot of stress and frustration. But again, every time I would marvel at, wow, this would be an emotional state that would have turned me toward drinking because I wouldn't have wanted to feel it. So when you stop drinking or take a big break from alcohol, just know that
Maureen SoberFitChick Coaching (07:05.952)
you are going to feel all the feels. That means the whole spectrum of emotions. You cannot numb only negative emotions. You're going to numb good ones too. You know, at first you feel like you're like, woo, but after that it starts to bring everything down, right? We talked about this. It depletes your feel-good neurotransmitters over time. So, know, dealing with the frustration, slowing down, you know, understanding,
that recovery takes time, all of those things I had to work through without numbing. And again, it just made me stronger in the end. So moving into 2026, I have a new perspective there too. So the listener takeaway for all of you is if you're trying to change your relationship with alcohol and you've got something coming up that's challenging, try to not default to alcohol to deal with your stressful emotions and also not just use willpower, but start with stabilizing your body
So your brain can make a real choice using those techniques, breathwork, hydration, protein, light movement and sleep hygiene, which could be a whole nother three episodes, but really cutting off your screens, know, earlier bedtime and a consistent sleep routine. All of this will help you if you're going through something difficult like surgery or challenging time in your life. Alcohol is not your friend. So I just want to share, that was a big lesson from those surgeries and
having unrealistic expectations and then the real aha moment that wow, alcohol would not have helped any of this. Not before surgeries, not after surgeries and not dealing with the stress around recovery. So let's now like switch to another thing that happened. For the first time ever we went away over Christmas. Didn't even put up a Christmas tree which was weird and in a way it was not stressful because I didn't do all that but
It was challenging in many other ways. Cruises, as we know, are really just, you know, big advertisements for alcohol. It's amazing. You're surrounded by it. And this was one of the things that really would hold me back when I would first think about not drinking, as I mentioned in my opening, would be travel. And I can tell you, every single client I work with, this is a big hurdle. The number one is usually, what will people think?
Maureen SoberFitChick Coaching (09:29.57)
How will I hang out with my friends? And number two is, no, I have a big trip coming up. How am I possibly going to enjoy that without alcohol? Right. So these are limiting beliefs that we work around. And I had to work around them myself at first. So in my first year of drinking, me personally, I decided cruise would not be a good idea. I still had a lot to work through. Now I have some clients who have done it and what happens when you go through these challenging events where there's booze everywhere is you teach your brain
and your body that yes, yes, you can travel without alcohol and you actually learn that you're more present and focused and you're maintaining all the things we just talked about in the first part. You're maintaining your sleep hygiene, you're eating well, you're doing breath work, you're probably working out on the cruise, right? Instead of being hung over in your cabin room and drinking mimosas to have hair of the dog. Instead, you are maintaining your healthy routine, which is really what you want.
When you come back from vacation, you don't feel like you need another vacation because you just crushed yourself by drinking every day and every night. It's such a different experience, but until you go through it, you can't build that confidence to know, yes, I can travel and I can even go on a booze-filled cruise. I call it cruising without the boozing. You can do that and enjoy it. Now, I will say there's several things that you need to do.
I would start out small if you're just starting out with your alcohol-free relationship. If you're trying to see what it feels like, maybe try a weekend thing, right? I wouldn't suggest first going on a 10-day trip to Europe, right? I really would rather clients go through their first year alcohol-free. If you're one of my clients that comes to me and says, yeah, I want to stop drinking, then the alcohol-free first of your first year are so important. So we really want to think about what we introduce into that year.
Because you already have enough to go through, right? With holidays, birthdays, all the other things that we've made so many strong associations with alcohol. So when it comes to travel, when you're first starting out, if you're sober curious, then choose, you know, one trip or weekend to practice alcohol-free. Just be curious about, let me see what this feels like. And we always talk about in coaching detailed plans, visualization. What if there's these obstacles? What are you going to do? So you always want to have a plan.
Maureen SoberFitChick Coaching (11:56.27)
And that's if you're working with me, we're gonna coach through. I have a client who's about to go to India and he said, you know, I'm flying on first class on this really nice airline and I'm concerned about the bar situation because I'm going to miss out on that. And we worked on reframing that. You know, how can you enjoy first class? What are all the other wonderful things in first class? And the fact that you're going to India and how you're gonna feel when you get there versus staying up all night.
drinking at a bar on an airplane, right? So we work on reframing because we're so conditioned to think alcohol must be a part of travel and celebration. And if you're alcohol-free for a while like me, then travel is maintenance and I'm protecting my routines. What do I mean by that? So all the tools I learned back when I was first going through coaching, I still employ in a situation like that. And I'm going to give you an example. So I'm at dinner.
and the person sommelier comes over and my husband still drinks and he ordered his drink and she looked at me, she said, what are you drinking? I said, you know what, I don't drink alcohol anymore. And she said, I'm so sorry. And I said, I'm not sorry, I'm okay with it. So listen, I'd like a mocktail and you could see the resistance and sometimes you'll get this guys, I'm just gonna be honest with you. Mostly, I'm gonna say 90 % of the time you get bartenders and sommeliers and hosts and hostesses that are, they're fine with it, right?
particular woman had an attitude. And she took my order for this mocktail, walked away and the bar was out in another room and, you know, brought our drinks back and my husband's busy ordering his meal and I take my first sip and I'm like, wow, that tastes really different. And then I take another sip and immediately I felt it go to my head, that whoosh, that feeling. And all these thoughts went through my brain. I'm going to be...
really transparent and honest with you guys. Yes, I'm over four years alcohol free, but all those old thoughts went through my brain. Why? Because those drinking neural pathways and those associations are still in my brain. They're just dormant. And when I had a sip of alcohol and had that whoosh feeling in my brain, I had to work through a little bit of that, right? Because I used to want that feeling. That was exactly the feeling I wanted. And you know,
Maureen SoberFitChick Coaching (14:15.882)
Email me, text me, let me know if you know what I'm talking about. I wanted that immediate, you know, central nervous system depressant. I didn't know that's what it was back then. I'll call it a whoosh feeling, you know, kind of like a calming down. But the interesting thing was I didn't like it. I didn't want it. I felt I was angry, first of all, because I had made it specifically clear that I don't drink and I wanted a mocktail.
But also I knew now I was gonna have to wait about 20 minutes and this is just from two sips of alcohol. I had to wait about 20 minutes for that feeling to go away. But in my brain I actually thought, I could drink this. It's not my fault. Right? I didn't order it but here it is. And my husband wouldn't even know. It was such a split second thought but I'm being very transparent with you even as a coach, even if with all the information, even with
This much time under my belt, those neural pathways popped up. But what did I do? Very quickly, use the tools that I have always used and always coach on, right? I don't need to recreate the wheel. These things still work. Play it forward. How would I feel if I had this drink? First of all, I'd be intoxicated and I'd feel sick because it's been so long. And I know, I just know too much to want to put this carcinogen and this toxin back in my body.
So is it worth it? No. Play it forward. How would I feel tomorrow? How would I feel telling all of you? Right? And this is all seconds, I want you to understand, seconds in the brain. And I'm like, I don't want this. It was easy. And then I did a little experiment. I looked at my watch and said, okay, let's see how long this takes. And you know what? After those 20 minutes, it was gone, but I felt tired just from two sips of alcohol. And any of my friends who are listening to this probably wouldn't believe that because I used to drink quite a bit.
back in the day. Pretty hardcore, martinis and then wine, right? So I had built up a tolerance back then. Now my tolerance is gone. Thank God, because tolerance is actually not a good thing. And we'll talk about that on another episode. So I also thought, you know, my husband has no idea what's going through my brain. So I told him, I said, hey, guess what? There's alcohol in this drink. And he was angry too. He's very protective. It's really sweet. Actually, he's, I hear him.
Maureen SoberFitChick Coaching (16:37.986)
you know, at times asking for mocktails and things for me and that's so sweet. We've really come to a different place in our relationship around alcohol. But we called the sommelier over and she denied it, right? And then she went out and got the bartender, I'm not kidding you, and brought the bartender back like and blamed it on the bartender who was in the other room. But actually this wait staff person was the one who was supposed to communicate the issue.
And the bartender said, my gosh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? I'm like, I'm fine. Like, I'm gonna, you know, all of sudden be looking for all this alcohol. It's just, I said, you guys need to know when someone says they no longer drink or they're not drinking, there's a reason. They don't want to. And you need to respect that. Just like when someone says I'm gluten-free, I'm a vegetarian, I don't eat dairy. It should be on the same scale as that. So I had no problem stating how I felt in a nice way.
And then we actually moved our table to a different section for the rest of the cruise I had a really fun sommelier who would, they'd be like, what are we drinking tonight? And they'd make great mocktails, which is usually the experience. I want to share that with you. It is usually the experience. So don't be afraid, but also don't be afraid to stand your ground and make a change, right? Move in the restaurant, ask for somebody different, ask for somebody that respects your alcohol-free lifestyle. So I wanted to just share that.
You really have to be strong in your whys. Why don't I want to drink anymore? Why don't I want this drink that someone gave me right now? And play it forward. It's such a simple but good tactic. And it's so important also to communicate. So I shared with my husband, these are all the thoughts that went through my head in seconds. And he said, wow, I had no idea. And it was really great to have that conversation because that gave him some more insight into me. He has never
had a struggle with drinking too much. Now, he drank a lot when I did, don't get me wrong, I was the ringleader there, but he is one of those people now anyway, that can have one drink and drink it through all of dinner and even leave some on the table. We call them unicorns, right? But I wanted to give him insight into my brain, which gave him a better understanding. So that was actually a really nice moment.
Maureen SoberFitChick Coaching (19:02.134)
And some of our friends were on the cruise with us, they were in a different restaurant. They actually experienced some pushback too and they were surprised. But again, they were really solid on their whys, knew they didn't want to drink and just stood their ground and made sure they got alcohol-free drinks. So just know this might be something that you encounter, but it doesn't mean it's impossible. You just have to be solid in your whys, why you're not drinking. And if that moment happens, because this is not the first time this has happened to me,
I think I shared before I was in Italy and I had alcohol by mistake. And again, a sip or two, I felt it in my brain and I didn't want it. So here's the silver lining. Here's the takeaway. It was reinforcement and validation for me that yes, I do not want alcohol. So this actually turned out to be an empowering experience. And of course, the next thought I have was this is going to be good podcast material. So I do help my clients with things like that. What if someone hands you a drink?
What if you drink alcohol by mistake? What does that mean? And some of my clients said, does that mean I have to start over day one? No, no. This is all about data. I took in the data. I encourage my clients to take in the data, evaluate it. Let's talk about how you felt. Let's talk about the actions that you took. So if someone else drank, we would talk about, well, how did you feel that you drank? How did you feel the next day? Right? Is it in alignment with who you are now with your future self? So these things can happen, but
Going into 2026, I feel even more empowered, confident and validated that I'm excited about my next decade being fully alcohol-free. And that leads to my third share turning 60. I can't even believe it. Like where did all the time go? And again, in total transparency, I have times of sadness and frustration that I wasted about a decade.
of some pretty hardcore drinking. And I was pretty hard on my body. And most of all, I was living out of alignment with who I am as a person who is a health and fitness person. You know, I was a professional at one time. And also I just really felt like God had so much more for me, but alcohol was holding me back. So I was stuck for about 10 years. And sometimes I look back on that with regret, but
Maureen SoberFitChick Coaching (21:28.15)
In 2026, I'm moving into that decade made me who I am now. That decade, and I drank longer than that, don't get me wrong, but that was like the beginning of the end decade. That decade opened up this whole purpose for me. This whole purpose of becoming a coach and sharing with other people the truth about alcohol, just how toxic
and how bad it really is for our health, our mental health, our physical health, our gut health and our longevity. We're all concerned about our longevity and we do all these things. I was doing all the things, but I was not looking at alcohol, which was actually affecting and permeating every aspect of my life. So as I move into 60, this decade, I'm really excited to have this new purpose, this new passion to help others.
find the same freedom that I have. And I'm trying to make it clear that just because I have this freedom doesn't mean I don't encounter challenging times and challenging issues and even being served alcohol and working through that in my brain. But I have learned to employ all these tools. It's a lifelong thing, okay? And sometimes I have clients who come back to me after a year or two and they're like, I just thought I had it all figured out.
and all of a sudden I was drinking again. Yes, because you stopped using your tools, you stopped doing your pre-planning, you stopped thinking about the tribe that you hang out with, right? You stopped thinking about your longevity goals. So it's important to keep these in front of you and stay alignment, in alignment with who you want to be, with your future self. If you think about that, who do I want to be when I'm 70? I do not want to be sitting at the same old bar with the same people.
drinking, being hung over and stuck in the same loop. I am certain of that, especially with all these 2025 experiences. And so back when I was still drinking a milestone birthday like this, man, it would have meant a blowout. I would have wanted to have all my friends and just drink and trust me, it would have been, used to say it was a birthday month and you I'm not opposed to that now, but I'm gonna celebrate it in a different way. I'm gonna ask people to go on hikes with me. I'm gonna ask people they wanna go spa with me.
Maureen SoberFitChick Coaching (23:52.266)
I, people, unfortunately people, if you're gonna give me a gift and I still love gifts, you'll have to be more creative, right? We all default to giving people alcohol because it's easy and it's made us kind of lazy. I gave a talk at a gym and a woman who was there came up to me afterwards. She said, you know what? I don't even drink, but you made me think about the gifts I give people. Do I really wanna give the gift of a toxin and a carcinogen and something that's gonna hurt somebody?
And she said it made her be more creative. Like what are these people really like? What are their hobbies? What else can I give them that lets them know I put some thought into this gift? So just kind of think about that. But back to my milestone birthday, I would have had a lot of regret and a lot of hangover. But now as I'm turning 60, what in just a week, January 21st, I have a completely different perspective. Most of us have been conditioned, right? So it's not my fault, it's not your fault.
Most of us have been conditioned to celebrate with alcohol, celebrate everything, but especially birthdays, anniversary and travel, right? It's the default script. It's like, this is a treat, you deserve this. But when you really understand, which is what we work through in my course, recognize, replace, rewire and renew. When you work through my course and you work with me, either in group or individually, you start to understand how not to default to alcohol.
how to be more mindful, how to take a step back, how to ask yourself these questions. Who do I really want to be? What does my health look like? My longevity, my future self? How do I want to feel tomorrow? How do I want to feel in an hour? Right? So it's not a character flaw. It is a learned loop or a neural pathway. It's a loop that's been created and our brain learns to default to that. But the good news is, and this is like the buzzword, right? Neuroplasticity. You can teach your brain a new way to celebrate.
I think you've all heard that term neuroplasticity. So plastic is moldable, you if you heat it up, you can change the shape of it. Our brains are neuroplastic. We can change habit loops. We are not stuck. You don't have to default to this is just who I am. I've always been a drinker. I always drank it, you know, on vacations, on birthdays. You do not have to stay stuck. Your brains are neuroplastic. And we talk about that. Talk about how to change your brain. There's a whole system to do it. And again,
Maureen SoberFitChick Coaching (26:15.168)
Once you learn the tools, they start to become automatic. You don't need to recreate the wheel. So the things that I learned and I'm really excited about my birthday, actually we're going to do something very exciting. We're going to go on a safari. It's not till June, but I have something to look forward to. And again, on that trip, I will not drink. I am going to fully experience being on a safari and I cannot wait. I cannot wait. But for the short term,
Gratification of celebrating my birthday, we're gonna go to New York and see a show. Again, all things I would have not been able to imagine doing without alcohol. And now it's just who I am, which is such a great feeling. I want you to know, I still struggle with a lot of stuff, right? I still struggle with health issues, achy joints. I still get down and I have to employ my other tools. Alcohol in no way. This is the lesson.
would serve me and it doesn't serve you. So the useful truth here is in midlife or stressful situations and health situations, vacation situations, birthday situations, alcohol starts costing you more than it was ever giving. You know, So, the question becomes is alcohol supporting your body and your life or is it stealing from it? Right? So get rid of those questions like
Do I have a problem? What will people think? Am I an alcoholic? Instead, ask yourself, would my life be better with less or no alcohol? And it's a curiosity statement. And if that answer is yes, then give me a call. Let's do a discovery call. I love coaching. It's my favorite thing to do. I love helping people have those aha moments. I coach all different kinds of people with all different kinds of goals. I'm going to bring some of those people on my podcast so you can hear about it.
but it's really just taking you through the learning experience and learning on your own, building confidence that you have on your own of who you want to be in your relationship with alcohol. So those are the things I've learned and I'm taking with me in 2026. I would love for you if you're sober curious and this episode meant anything to you, let me know. Reach out to soberfitchick.com or
Maureen SoberFitChick Coaching (28:40.374)
Maureen is my email, M-A-U-R-E-E-N @ SoberFitChick.com. You can send me an email. I'd love to hear your thoughts, challenges, struggles, wins. You can go to my website, soberfitchic.com and you can sign up for my newsletter. I try to do it often, but to tell you the truth, I'm not that good at it. But I do, I put out tools and tips and tactics and stories, things to help you, let you know you're not alone.
and you can change your relationship with alcohol. I also have a really good quiz. So again, if you go to my website, soberfitchick.com and on the top bar, you can just click on that and take the quiz. It's called, Am I drinking too much? Right? Because that's what we always ask ourselves, am I drinking too much? And you fill that out, you'll get personalized results. Some people get the results back like, no, you're good. Other people get the results back like, yes, you are a gray area drinker. And then if you...
write your email, you'll get your results and you'll get the guide to grey area drinking. What is grey area drinking? Where do you fit in in the grey area drinking spectrum? And I also give you three science-backed tips on how to reduce cravings. So if you're in the middle of, you know, dry January right now or trying to change your relationship with alcohol, these simple science-backed tips will help. So check it out, take the quiz or go to my website, get my newsletter and if you want to talk to me,
Let's do a free discovery call. It's no obligation. That's just not how I roll. There's no pressure. It's just you and I talking. I can relate to you. I drank for years. I struggled with it for years. I felt a lot of shame, but I learned to do exactly now what I share with other people, how to recognize your patterns, how to replace those rituals and those thought loops that keep you stuck. You rewire your brain and it's renewing. You are
working towards being a different person, someone more in alignment with your health, fitness, mental, spiritual values. So I hope, you know, sharing what I learned in 2025 and taking into 2026 will help you because that's what I do, right? I coach high functioning men and women who look fine on the outside but are tired of the nightly off switch or the weekend binges like I did, that mental chatter, that mental real estate that alcohol takes up.
Maureen SoberFitChick Coaching (31:05.216)
It is amazing when you remove that, how much space you have in your brain for other really worthwhile endeavors and how you can reach your potential. And you get out of that shame spiral. That's the best part. So my approach is brain first using my signature 4-R method. And I'm full of compassion and understanding because I went through it too, right? So there's no judgment, there's no labels. It's about finding the best process for you. So I'm back in
2026 and the signature question I always like to ask all my guests and I'm going to ask you and I'd love it if you reach out to me and tell me, what do you do to be sober fit? What are you going to do in January or the rest of 2026 to be sober fit? And if you'd like help with that, I'd like to help you. And one more time, go check out my quiz, am I drinking too much? soberfitchick.com/ami forward slash am I, like am I drinking too much? A-M-I, okay?
And so I hope you have a great day. Look forward to some new episodes with guests and experts and some more coaching from me.
