Maureen Benkovich (00:00.558)
Welcome back to another episode of Sober Fitlife. Today, I'm talking with Toni Will, a powerhouse in professional sports and the first female general manager and governor in the East Coast Hockey League, where she leads the Kalamazoo Wings. Toni's not just breaking barriers in hockey. She's also the founder of Mindfulness Elevated, helping people find freedom from substances and reaching their fitness goals, which were very much aligned there. Since then, she's launched
a leadership coaching practice started WomenIn...podcast. We'll talk about that. She became a TEDx speaker and is releasing her first book, Not the Norm, alongside her 2025 conference, Empower Her. So you can tell that she's like a real underachiever. She's also a two-time Ironman and Guinness Book of World Record holder. So we'll get into all that. We're to talk about what it takes to lead in a male dominated spaces.
why she changed her relationship with alcohol and our connection over being fitness enthusiasts, instructors, and yet we were drinking so much because in the fitness culture, it is just so prevalent. And now personally and professionally, she's helping others unlock their potential. So Tony, thank you so much for coming on to Sober Fit Life.
Toni Will (01:19.079)
it's so cool to be on Maureen. I'm excited.
Maureen Benkovich (01:22.212)
Yeah, I'm excited to have you here. Boy, I was watching your TEDx talk. You're a great speaker. I recommend everybody go watch that. But you work in a culture like many of us have, but where drinking is really normalized, I'm guessing in the hockey male-dominated industry. And yet those people are also focused, fit, driven, and there's a lot of alcohol in there. let's get back to you.
happened with you specifically that decided you decided to change your relationship with alcohol if you could share some of that part of your story and when you said enough was enough.
Toni Will (02:00.13)
Yeah, it started with an inter-knowing, right? It was kind of a whisper in me. I think we can all relate to that where it was like, start to be like, you wake up one morning after maybe having too much to drink the night before and you're like, hmm. And that whisper got louder and louder and louder. It wasn't a whisper by 2016 when I had tried to quit drink, like in my mid thirties, it was whisper. I look back now, it was like I was drinking, you know,
Maureen Benkovich (02:06.979)
Yeah.
Toni Will (02:30.07)
a glasses of wine a night, and then it went from a couple glasses to a bottle over time. And then it went from bottle to be like, I should just get a box because I can't, I get more. There's four bottles in a box. And, I can't see it. So denial, like deniable culpability or whatever they call it. And so, and so from bottles to boxes to blackouts basically. And
Maureen Benkovich (02:41.836)
Right? It's easy. Yes.
Toni Will (02:56.334)
By 2016, I was Googling, I an alcoholic? And I'm looking at all these things. I ended up getting arrested in a hotel in Northern Michigan. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (03:06.2)
Yeah, let's talk about that because I wanted to ask if that was alcohol related and what happened and yeah, if you don't mind. Okay.
Toni Will (03:11.938)
Yeah, so I know, of course, because it's in my book that's coming out. So the world will know. So essentially what happened was I was visiting a family in Northern Michigan. I live in Kalamazoo, Michigan. And if you've ever been to Michigan, I mean, it's a beautiful state, but the summers are like amazing. And we were visiting my then mother-in-law and she loved the same wine I did, Kendall Jackson Chardonnay.
Maureen Benkovich (03:17.463)
Yeah.
Toni Will (03:39.35)
And so was always something to look forward to. And she was quite a wealthy woman. She's since passed, and her son and I are no longer married, but we were just having one of those beautiful summer days and drinking all day. And I remember patting myself on the back at dinner because I had a cup of coffee and feeling really good about myself. they all, went back to our...
Maureen Benkovich (03:44.217)
Mm.
Toni Will (04:04.533)
rental and we were playing cards and continued to drink and then they wanted to go to bed and alcohol for me is like rocket fuel. Yep. And I was like, you losers, I'm going to go down to the bar. So I did and it was fine at first, but this is where it became a brown out for me. And I think they tried to cut me off and then I got pretty crappy towards them and as I would confrontational.
Maureen Benkovich (04:17.732)
yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (04:22.616)
Mm-hmm.
Toni Will (04:31.985)
And that not in line with my core values at all, got kicked out of the bar. They were trying to figure out where I was staying. They didn't believe me. It was a whole series of events, which didn't allow for me to get ahold of my husband, which by the way, is a state police trooper in Michigan. And, awkward. And, I did not.
Maureen Benkovich (04:34.636)
Right.
Maureen Benkovich (04:50.628)
That's awkward, Awkward.
Toni Will (04:56.261)
I did not, when alcohol hits my brain, but beyond being rocket fuel, I'm just as noted in the story, I'm confrontational. And I threw a fit in, mean, like meltdown toddler, so cringy. And I told them to arrest me and they called the police and did. And that's what happened. so.
Maureen Benkovich (05:03.62)
Mm.
Maureen Benkovich (05:10.609)
yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (05:13.794)
And they did.
And then I asked you, well, was that it for you?
Toni Will (05:20.333)
And no, it wasn't. in that moment, it was, I mean, it was so full of shame and embarrassment. I was in jail for 18 hours. I did the whole thing. went to AA, like I took it very seriously. I knew I had an issue and I went to IOP. So if your audience doesn't know, IOP is an Intensive Outpatient Program. I did that. I don't...
Maureen Benkovich (05:22.199)
Yeah.
Toni Will (05:44.82)
into AA, 90 meetings in 90 days. I was chairing meetings. was on the board of like you've noted by my by my bio, like when I'm in, I'm in. And at the one year mark, I made a deal with myself. I said, if I feel like drinking again, I'm going to watch my arrest video because yes, it was recorded on police body camp. I started to have those thoughts. Well, I didn't have the tools that I do now. I wanted to drink again. I started to make up excuses in my brain like AA is a cult, which I
Maureen Benkovich (05:50.254)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (06:03.363)
Mmm.
Toni Will (06:13.825)
don't believe but I was trying to find exactly. So I watched the video of my arrest which only solidified my ability to talk coherently when drunk. You could tell like if you knew me my eyes were like marbles but beyond that I was really coherent. So shockingly so and what didn't help and is that the police officers were messing with me and by messing with me I mean like
Maureen Benkovich (06:14.71)
Right. Rationalize.
Maureen Benkovich (06:32.356)
Mm.
Toni Will (06:42.406)
in a way like provoking, so then I had new justifications.
Maureen Benkovich (06:45.932)
More justification. Well, look, they were provoking me.
Toni Will (06:49.237)
Right, hang on, if I wouldn't have been drinking the way I was, there would have been nothing to provoke. right?
Maureen Benkovich (06:56.92)
Right. Well, it's the alcohol addiction speaking that wants to come back.
Toni Will (07:03.085)
So I, anyway, so I waited three more months after watching that video and on 15 months, exactly 15 months, and it wasn't by design. It just happened to be that way. I went back out for three more years because I had that one drink in an AA. It's a relapse. The sky is falling. Well, screw it. I went back out for three more years.
Maureen Benkovich (07:14.798)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (07:21.9)
Right.
Maureen Benkovich (07:25.892)
And then what happened at the end of three years? Right.
Toni Will (07:28.365)
nothing as eventful as August of 2016. I was but I was back up north and in October of 2020, the early days early ish days of the pandemic. And I went on a trip with some girlfriends and I'm sitting around the bonfire and I'm out drinking everyone considerably and I'm like,
Maureen Benkovich (07:49.773)
And we used to think that was like a badge of honor. Right. Yeah. I can drink and work out the next day. Yeah.
Toni Will (07:52.237)
Oh, 100 % Maureen, was it not? But I knew that.
Exactly. And I just was like, I'm so sick and tired of myself. And so I texted my husband, I woke up in the morning. I said, I think I'm gonna put myself in a, in a Tony timeout, because I love alliteration. And he texted back, he's super supportive. He goes, is this just a hungover text you're sending me like before? And this I had remarried since four months prior to that. And I was open with Josh about my relationship with alcohol, not at first, but that's a whole other story. Also in the book.
Maureen Benkovich (08:03.043)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (08:11.146)
I love that.
Maureen Benkovich (08:26.474)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Toni Will (08:27.617)
But I just said, I just need a month and then I'm gonna go back to drinking. Okay, so I did the 30 days and then at two weeks in I was miserable, just emotionally miserable. Like, can I accomplish all these amazing things in my life but I can't get my arms wrapped around alcohol, why?
Maureen Benkovich (08:48.558)
But that is such a huge question. I just got to stop you there because so many people get stuck there. And that is the question because you clearly have so much willpower and drive and discipline in all these other areas of your life. And when it finally dawns on us that the difference is the alcohol, the addictive substance has nothing to do with willpower. It's a drug.
Toni Will (09:12.673)
Yes, and I have to say this because I love that you say it is a drug. Had I had the skill set I have now back then, the way that our culture and big alcohol would get me going on this separates out alcohol as a drug is part of the problem. It's a drug. So for any of you questioning relationship with alcohol, we get it. But we would also try to frame it as if I choose to drink
Maureen Benkovich (09:17.827)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (09:32.568)
Yes.
Toni Will (09:41.395)
I'm now taking drugs. And see how that feels. Try it on for size.
Maureen Benkovich (09:46.457)
But the alcohol industry did such a good job of delineating drugs and alcohol. Like, well, drugs are really bad, but alcohol, you know, that's how we've been conditioned. And it is legalized, glorified, romanticized. That's my favorite thing to say about it. And so no wonder why we all believe that it's different and it's our fault if we can't change it right away without learning tools.
Toni Will (09:51.445)
Yes.
Toni Will (09:57.87)
100%.
Toni Will (10:10.453)
Yes.
Toni Will (10:13.921)
Yeah, 100 % my governing belief was coffee in the morning, wine at night. Those were my bookends. then everything I built in between my marriage, my family, you know, the picket fence. I don't really have a white picket fence, but you get, you know, you get what I'm painting here. And I was like, how do I do this with how do I still be Tony?
Maureen Benkovich (10:29.636)
Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (10:37.13)
Right, the identity question, because that is another piece. And I know you work with clients too, that they're like, when they realize, wow, alcohol is really wrapped up in so much of my identity. Because it's not like you walk around going, I'm a drinker, and you identify yourself that way. But when you start to tease it out, you realize how entangled it's become. And so untangling that is a process. But yeah, who am I going to be if I don't drink? Who's Tony going to be if she doesn't drink?
Toni Will (11:05.001)
I had no clue, especially in the world I work in, in my day job. Huh? And, believe me, never did I think in a million years, the thing I was most ashamed of would become a business, a Ted X, anything X. A book. Well, no, no. So yeah, I, so I'm sitting there on the island crying to my husband two weeks in, and I just said, there's gotta be a different way. didn't want to go back to AA and,
Maureen Benkovich (11:17.348)
Exactly. Oh, I know. I podcast? Yeah.
Toni Will (11:34.316)
And that's when I hit Google and I found other resources, different methodologies. A lot had changed in the three years because back when I was in AA 2016, if anyone, those of you who've been in this space a while will know it was basically AA and Oduels were our options. And like some of the stuff was coming of age then, but it was very much in its infancy. A lot had changed in three years. And so I'm like, all right, let me try these other methodologies.
Maureen Benkovich (11:35.629)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (11:40.92)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (11:49.771)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (11:57.379)
Yeah.
Toni Will (12:01.617)
And my 30, my two weeks went to 30 days went to, I went from there. added three more weeks on. whatever seven weeks. And then after that I went at that point, I knew I'm like, I think I'm done. I'll never say forever because I'm a rebel and I love to break rules. And so, I just, you know, I'm just not drinking. I'm a non-drinker now and I'll be five years in October.
Maureen Benkovich (12:13.998)
Right.
Right.
Maureen Benkovich (12:26.02)
Congratulations. And that's so important to not say never. I mean, why do we have to say that? You know, we just continue to learn and grow. And the more you learn about alcohol, and we are both health and physical fitness and nutrition minded, it just, as you said earlier, before we recorded, it really wasn't in alignment with your values of who you are as a person and a leader and a fitness person. I you've completed two Ironmans. And tell us about that, because you said one was when you were drinking still.
Toni Will (12:29.516)
Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (12:53.836)
and one was afterwards. So what was the difference? Tell us about that.
Toni Will (12:57.453)
Yeah. So the one in 2017 I did in Louisville, Kentucky, and just for anyone interested in the sport, I don't recommend now you'll hear stories of people who just decide they're going to do an Ironman and they'll go do it. So if you, well, I should tell you what an Ironman is too, in case someone doesn't know it's a 2.4 mile swim. It's a 112 mile bike. And then you run a marathon, which is 26.2 miles. you cover 140.6 miles and you have 17 hours to do it. So I hired a coach.
Maureen Benkovich (13:07.737)
Mm-hmm.
Toni Will (13:27.085)
And I trained for a year and then and that was in 2017. I had been alcohol-free Well back then I said sober I interchange the two I don't really care. I don't care the label but Well, I do care
Maureen Benkovich (13:36.033)
Right me too.
So the second time around you hired a coach or also the first time when you were still drinking, okay.
Toni Will (13:42.062)
the first, both times I had a coach. Yeah. So the, and in 2017, when I did that Ironman, I was not drinking through AA. And so, um, that one was completely a sober adventure and it was an amazing experience and I've done, so there's four different distance triathlons as well. So I worked my way up over the years in the sport, started with sprint, went to Olympic, then a half Ironman, then a full. I did not just decide one day.
Maureen Benkovich (14:04.292)
Incredible. Yeah.
Toni Will (14:10.445)
I don't recommend that. So, um, but some people do. And then in 2000, I did one three, two years later. No, anyway, it doesn't matter the year. Oh, the first one I did in 14, the second one I did in 17. So the iron man I did in 2014, that's when I was drinking and I was like, I still had a coach for the iron man, but I, and I trained for a year, but I was, the reward was, Oh, I did this 20 mile run. I get
Maureen Benkovich (14:37.092)
Yeah.
Toni Will (14:38.487)
Bud Light Lime was a thing for me when I was training. It's healthier. tastes so good. It's cold. Yeah. So I would, my gosh. And I remember I had to really, when you're training for an Ironman, you're training upwards of 17 hours a week. And so the majority of your hours are on the weekend biking or running. And then the filler workouts two a days are in the week. And I was working full time and my kids were young at the time. And I was married and,
Maureen Benkovich (14:41.828)
is healthier, right? Quote unquote. Yeah.
Toni Will (15:08.135)
And so the weekends I had to really tailor my drinking back in order to do the training. But then boy, if I got a day off or when the Ironman was done, I remember just being so hung over and I would throw up and all these things. But I'm like, I earned it. I did an Ironman.
Maureen Benkovich (15:16.726)
yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (15:24.068)
Well, that's the crazy thing is to get in that kind of shape, you know, to be that conditioned and then afterwards hit it really hard, which I did. I used to do figure competitions. So I would get extremely lean and, you know, muscular and incredibly clean eating for months. And then the night the contest was over, I'd go straight out with all that stage makeup on and order up a couple of martinis, like completely into a clean body. And then, you know, would be right back off the rails again.
Toni Will (15:34.221)
Thank you.
Toni Will (15:53.537)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (15:53.573)
So I know, and so we talked about this, so prevalent in the fitness industry after every 5K, any race, there's always beer set up everywhere, people reward themselves with drinking. What is that?
Toni Will (16:06.805)
That's what I want to know. I mean, now I look at it so differently. So I think going back to that mindset of it is this reward belief. I mean, it's simply put, it's just the reward belief. You work really hard to do a figure show. I've always been fascinated by that world, by the way. And I can't wait to interview you on my podcast. Yeah, my husband did bodybuilding. And so I find that whole world fascinating and still to this day do.
Maureen Benkovich (16:10.551)
Mm hmm. Me too.
Maureen Benkovich (16:27.02)
It is interesting.
Maureen Benkovich (16:34.628)
Mm-hmm.
Toni Will (16:36.413)
It is the reward that it's that belief.
Maureen Benkovich (16:38.274)
Yeah. Yeah. And now understanding what we know to put it in such a... We literally cleaned out our bodies the time you weren't drinking and doing this contest and then put this toxin back in. I mean, just think about the shock that your system went through. But as I said, then I was off and running again until the next contest or the next race or the next something, I always had to put some sort of goal in the way of my drinking.
I don't know if you found that to be something you did.
Toni Will (17:09.261)
Yeah, I would manage around it 100%. And it did. If I had these goals, what it actually did was keep that whisper still whispering because my goal achieving was so much louder. And it was like, well, Tony, you couldn't possibly have a problem with alcohol if you can do an Ironman.
Maureen Benkovich (17:11.012)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (17:19.257)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (17:28.782)
That's it. Right there. That is where so many people that we work with, and I'm going to say women get stuck. I work out all week long. I eat right. have my green shakes and juices, you know, and so what? I blow it out on the weekends. Obviously, I thought I don't have a problem because I binge drink on the weekends and I clean it up during the week. But the weekends started getting longer and the lasting effects that were really affecting my mental health were increasing. Did you find that? Did you experience any of that? Yeah.
Toni Will (17:56.782)
Yeah. Yes. Because what's interesting to note in my story is that the first time I quit drinking, I was, 30 or I'm 47 right now. And so nine years ago, I was 38. The second time I was 42. And so when you look at that, I went over into my forties and I noticed a big difference moving into my forties and the effects of alcohol. A big difference.
Maureen Benkovich (18:01.603)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (18:20.291)
Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (18:24.1)
Mm-hmm.
Toni Will (18:26.701)
And now I look back and think, gosh, at 38 and tackling this, was pretty, I would consider in the, not the youngest I've seen certainly, but man, when you're tackling this stuff in your thirties, that's not easy to do. Um, it's not easy at any age, but women, when we talk about women and the stages of life that we're in, man, moving in the forties makes a huge difference.
Maureen Benkovich (18:37.688)
No.
Maureen Benkovich (18:42.723)
Right.
Yeah, and then taking another decade moving into your postmenopausal, perimenopausal, postmenopausal, alcohol really does a number on you and you really can't process it anymore like you used to.
Toni Will (18:56.289)
Yes. that's where I'm, so now I'm, actually, was before you and I got on to record, was figuring out my doctor's appointment for perimenopause and for testing for that. Cause I believe I'm entering that stage of my life. And I'm so grateful that alcohol is not part, I mean, it's hard to fricking enough. I don't need alcohol to make it harder.
Maureen Benkovich (19:06.882)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (19:10.627)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (19:17.622)
Right. Yeah, I love to hear the gratitude because I am too. I don't ever wake up going, man, I wish I still drank. I wish I drank last night when we went out to dinner. I don't ever have that again. I'm always thinking, thank God I don't drink anymore.
Toni Will (19:32.146)
I look at a lot of things. My mom died in February and she had Alzheimer's and I'm so grateful I wasn't drinking for that. I I was literally at her bedside with my dad and my husband when she crossed over. And, I mean, was it hard? Of course, it's my mother, but I was present for all of it. Wild horses couldn't drag me back to that stuff, literally. And I never thought Tony party time, which is what my friends called me.
Maureen Benkovich (19:36.292)
I'm sorry.
Maureen Benkovich (19:41.976)
Right.
Maureen Benkovich (19:52.034)
Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (19:56.813)
I
Maureen Benkovich (20:00.259)
You
Toni Will (20:00.939)
would ever be this free from the substance and proud of it. I'm so proud. It's a privilege, not a punishment.
Maureen Benkovich (20:07.724)
Yes, yeah. Yeah, people would say when they went out with me, they got bank owed. Like if they drank with me too much and I thought that was cool. Yeah, but I do. We did talk about this a little bit. I do remember when I started teaching at a certain health club and all the instructors afterwards would go to this bar and I was like, well, this is what fitness people do. Sure. Okay. This makes sense. I'll just sweat it all out.
Toni Will (20:15.371)
Me too. you and I together? Lord, we would have been something.
Maureen Benkovich (20:36.504)
the next day, did you find that to be prevalent in the industry amongst the health care leaders and professionals?
Toni Will (20:40.214)
Yes.
Yes, on every level. I can remember and you and our chat about this to teaching classes hungover and joking about it. my gosh, I sometimes think about that version of me and I'm like, cringe, but I didn't know any better. I, you know, we didn't know any, so I don't beat myself up, but yeah, that's what we did. It was, so I was certified to teach Les Mills classes as well. And so we would launch these big, you know, quarterly releases and then all of us instructors
Maureen Benkovich (20:50.287)
yeah. Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (20:58.924)
Right, right.
Toni Will (21:12.427)
would go out on Saturday nights and stay out till five in the morning. I mean, just a silliness.
Maureen Benkovich (21:12.709)
party.
Yeah, part of it's youth, right? And also that whole tribal mentality. But now when I do hear an instructor say, hey, we're doing this cycle class so we can go have our cocktails tonight, that makes me cringe because I feel like there's so much more education out and information around that. it's picking up, you know, the word is getting out. I think the healthcare industry too is changing with things like podcasts and coaching and all these.
Toni Will (21:32.364)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (21:46.474)
know, group experiments that people do now, so over October, all that type of stuff.
Toni Will (21:49.858)
Yeah. Well, and think people like you and I who are out there and talking about our stories specifically, I mean, I work out now at Orange Theory Fitness. have for over three years and, and they had me do a webinar on alcohol-free living and to the members that want, that are interested. you know, I don't know if you felt this way, Maureen, but there was so much shame in my story. couldn't imagine like,
Maureen Benkovich (21:56.867)
Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (22:07.341)
Right.
Toni Will (22:15.187)
then one day if someone told me five years ago you'd be doing a webinar and you'd be doing this and that around alcohol to the fitness industry I would have been like no way.
Maureen Benkovich (22:19.064)
book.
Maureen Benkovich (22:23.224)
Yeah. Yeah. My first talk I gave after I became a coach was to a club and talking about the detox-retox cycle. So I kind of have a whole graph around that. So I think it's just so important to really understand that. And I love when you have, when you see people have these aha moments, like, I didn't know that. You know, we're talking fitness instructors and people who really take good care of themselves. But I want to shift gears because this is so interesting to me that you got into the hockey league. You got into...
Toni Will (22:34.082)
Yeah.
Toni Will (22:40.95)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (22:52.128)
managing it and done really, really well, a woman in a male-dominated sport. How did that happen?
Toni Will (22:58.989)
Short answer is on accident. So this was 11, almost 11 years ago now. My job at Southwest Michigan First, which is an economic development organization here in Kalamazoo, came to an abrupt end. The toxicity of the culture was bad and I just wasn't willing to stick in it. And so we kind of made a mutual, non-mutual agreement. I was let go, severance, whatever.
Maureen Benkovich (23:17.411)
Mm.
Toni Will (23:27.661)
The leadership is much different now than it was back then, but I had a small severance package and I decided, was like, okay, what do I want to do with this? Do I want to go back into banking, which is where I spent my first 13 years of my career? Do I want to go into nonprofit and fundraise? What do I want to do? So, and what came up, and I'll give the shortest version, which you watched my, maybe it was in my TEDx, I can't remember, but.
I applied to a high-end fashion boutique in downtown Kalamazoo, which is in the Marquis Hotel. And I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was growing up. But what got in my way is I couldn't sew. So I got out of my, I decided, but I always kind of was interested in fashion. So I applied for this job. HR called me. said, Tony, you're way overqualified. I said, I know. They said, said, I want to be bored. I don't want to be the face of anything. just, you my kids are.
Maureen Benkovich (23:58.853)
Okay.
Toni Will (24:19.465)
younger I just want to focus you know have a job but focus on them and they were like well let me call you back okay so they call me back like two weeks later like we got something for you so what's that and they said the Kalamazoo wings I go to the hockey team and I grew up here and I got gone to some games and they said yes and I said I don't know anything about running a hockey team and they said that's okay we don't the the GM doesn't run the hot like it does in the
hire at the NHL where the general manager works with the players and recruiting. That's not how works in the minor leagues. We want someone that knows how to run a business is great at building a team culture for a front office business staff and loves Kalamazoo. And I said, okay, I guess I'm all those things. And, and then they told me the pay which minor league sports, anyone interested in sports in general, it's not like a super lucrative industry. It's sexy because it's sports.
but it's not, I took a 35 % pay cut when I said yes to this job. And it was the best job I never knew I wanted. Yeah. And so we know how the story goes. What I didn't know then is that I wasn't thinking about my gender at all. I had no clue if general managers were men or women. I didn't think about the stuff. So fast forward, I'm putting my head down doing the work and this is what...
Maureen Benkovich (25:25.774)
Well, that's I love that. That's great.
Maureen Benkovich (25:38.358)
Right.
Toni Will (25:45.304)
part of my TEDx is about like how I turn this franchise around. And I went to seek out other experts. I'm on the board of governors, which is like a board of directors, but we're called governors because of the governments of the league. Yeah. And so one day I'm in a board of governors meeting and there's 60 people in this meeting. They're huge board meetings. I look up, I'm like, my God, there's like two women in here and
Maureen Benkovich (25:58.434)
I see.
Maureen Benkovich (26:10.051)
you
Toni Will (26:14.189)
58 men I have so much work to do and so from that minute on I have not stopped and Women in sports has been my passion and then it's expanding out to beyond that. It's women in any industry We have multiple identities and oftentimes were the minorities in our spaces There's the rare exception, but then I want to talk to those men who are minorities in those spaces. So
School teachers are a great example. Notoriously women driven. Well, I want to talk to the men that are my brother-in-law is a school teacher in fourth grade. How many men are in that elementary school? One, him. So I talked to anybody and everything about my podcast and that's where I lost.
Maureen Benkovich (26:44.761)
Very.
Maureen Benkovich (26:53.921)
Right.
Maureen Benkovich (27:00.098)
Well, what a great segue. So you're a woman who wears many hats. So now you're managing this hockey team, doing really well. And you start this podcast, Women In... I'm going to ask you about the...
Toni Will (27:13.771)
Yeah, the dot dot dot. So what it was born from was I was like, I'll do a pod. Like I came back from this conference where this was two years ago, not even. And it was the first time it was ever an all women's panel. And it was because of me and my advocating. And I was a moderator. I was so proud of it. Even telling a story is me chills this day. And I'm like, I want to keep telling these stories for women in sports. And then I stopped myself and I said, no, I want to tell these stories.
Maureen Benkovich (27:33.092)
Yeah.
Toni Will (27:41.87)
for all the different identities we carry. And I want men on my podcast too, because the word men is in women. And it's about inclusivity, not exclusivity. Men came from women. They often have very important women in their lives who helped shape them. So I have men and women on the podcast. So the dot, dot, dot is really about, so when Maureen, you come on, I'm gonna ask you, how would you fill in those dots for you?
Maureen Benkovich (27:55.448)
Mm.
Maureen Benkovich (28:04.875)
Okay, yeah.
Toni Will (28:05.983)
And like, had the commissioner of our league on here. So Ryan Creel and I said, how do, what do those dots mean to you? And he'd tell, you know, like, yeah, so we just have this conversation. It is just so fulfilling and it's a passion. And I w it's not for anything other than I get to do what you and I are doing and have these one hour or whatever, 45 minute conversations. Would that have happened if I had quit drinking or if I hadn't stepped into this role? No. And I have the best relationships now.
Maureen Benkovich (28:11.832)
Great question.
Maureen Benkovich (28:22.83)
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Toni Will (28:35.799)
They're authentic and genuine and our stories, all of them are so cool.
Maureen Benkovich (28:36.536)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (28:39.938)
Yeah, so let's like hang there for a minute because I always like to ask that question. Do you think you would have accomplished all these things that you're doing now if you had still been drinking?
Toni Will (28:49.037)
no, no, but I, some of them, I certainly, because it's my personality, but not, not all, I see things so differently now. I was so ashamed of my relationship with alcohol and my arrest and how, just who I was when I drank that I held myself back from a lot of things because I didn't deem myself worthy enough, my self esteem, my confidence.
Maureen Benkovich (28:54.116)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (29:06.264)
Mm-hmm.
Toni Will (29:14.897)
trust, self of the you put self in front all those words was affected. Now I know who I am. And even if I'm not like the best version myself, because I have a bad day and Lord knows this week's been one I've been in the yeah, it's okay. And I'm still like, I'm so proud of who I am now. And I want to
Maureen Benkovich (29:19.129)
Right.
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (29:28.257)
We all do.
Maureen Benkovich (29:35.289)
Yeah. You bring up such an important point because we're so disbilled with goods that alcohol is like the elixir and it makes women better. You know, the whole sex in the city thing. I always bring that example up. But you just pointed to how disempowering it actually was. You held yourself back. You held yourself small. You didn't believe in yourself. And now you took amazing Tony and are even more amazing because you're empowered and you're curious and you're not afraid to try all these
things and do them really well.
Toni Will (30:07.521)
Yeah, I could take the best parts of my personality and apply them in a way to help other people. And especially women, I want to lift women up. I have an abundance mindset. There is more than enough room for all of us. And the more stories I can tell about women, because I think it's getting better, but I think women get, depending on their mindset, especially if it's a scarcity mindset, think we're competing with one another and we're not. There's only one Maureen.
Maureen Benkovich (30:09.508)
Mmm.
Maureen Benkovich (30:20.151)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (30:33.357)
Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (30:36.996)
Right? Yeah. We all have different perspective, different story, different approach. So I love that. I think that's so important. I know so many women, I just was talking to a guy actually the other a new client, and he said, but I wasn't, I'm not that bad. I can go to a meeting under the influence of alcohol and I can still run a meeting. I'm like, yeah, but what about how much better could you be? How much better could your life be? I think we are all...
Toni Will (30:37.015)
There's only one Tony and thank God. mean, that would be
Maureen Benkovich (31:06.264)
when we're drinking set the bar so low, you know, I do okay. I get by. I still work out. What do you think about that?
Toni Will (31:14.253)
100%. We don't understand our capacity until we really start to take this for us. it's gross oversimplification, but we removed one thing from our lives, alcohol. And if you just step back, even in the 30 day period to see how much time you've given yourself back, not just in the actual drinking of itself, but the prepping for drinking, thinking about drinking, recovering from drinking. And even if it's once a month, I mean, I'm gonna...
Maureen Benkovich (31:22.222)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (31:25.87)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (31:36.588)
yeah.
Toni Will (31:42.285)
if most people would be like, oh, I'd love to be able to drink once a month. But even in that, if there's that inner knowing, then that's all that matters. Like, yeah, you might be fine. But if you don't like it, you're going to give yourself back three, four, five, six hours at least.
Maureen Benkovich (31:52.813)
Right.
Maureen Benkovich (31:57.245)
it's amazing how much, when that first started to happen, I'm like, what is going on here? Where's all this time coming from? And I'm seeing things differently. I did not realize until you go through the process of removing alcohol, how much mental energy and real estate you give to alcohol. Like you said, the prepping, the actual drinking, I would like to see, my gosh, I just drank that first drink really fast and everybody else, where are they? What if I order another one?
Maybe I get somebody else to order one with me. And then of course the next day, man, I drank too much. Why did I do that? So much thought.
Toni Will (32:31.693)
100%. So let's talk, one of my passions that's evolved, speaking of the brain and with my mom passing from Alzheimer's, I'm obsessed with all things about the brain. And here's the thing, and you, I love that you're obsessed with this too. We always talked about our livers, give our livers a break, give our livers a break, which yes, that's important, but okay, alcohol is the only thing that breaks through the blood brain barrier. Yes, say it with me.
Maureen Benkovich (32:41.924)
Hmm. Me too.
Maureen Benkovich (32:48.58)
Mm
Maureen Benkovich (32:55.992)
Blood brain barrier.
Toni Will (33:00.115)
It is, mean, come on. So this is the CPU. I'm touching my head if you're not watching this. Like it's so important. And I don't think emphasized enough. And then don't even get me started on even drinking at age 21 now because our brains aren't even fully developed.
Maureen Benkovich (33:01.891)
Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (33:05.59)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (33:11.522)
Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (33:16.438)
Right? yeah. Well, I started at 14, so, you know, definitely wasn't developed. I love to follow Dr. Eamon, you know, yeah. And he literally has these images showing you what happens to a drinker and a non-drinker. And he also talks about cannabis a lot now too, because of the increase in cannabis. And I think it's so important that people learn about the brain. We're all terrified of Alzheimer's and dementia. My mother had dementia, you know, my mother drank a lot. There is a...
Toni Will (33:20.535)
Yeah.
Toni Will (33:23.927)
same.
Maureen Benkovich (33:45.368)
Definite connection, brain shrinkage, memory loss. And it's not when you're 70 that you need to start thinking about it. It's so much earlier.
Toni Will (33:55.958)
It's so much earlier. you have not read, outlived by Dr. Peter Atiyah and his podcast is the drive. This is about health span versus lifespan and really thinking about how do you want the last 10 years of your life to look? And we don't know when that is, but I'm telling you, one of the goals I have is to be able to lift my carry on on the airplane and put it up in the bin by myself when I'm 90. And so if I want to do that, I have to work backwards.
Maureen Benkovich (34:01.666)
yeah.
So good.
Toni Will (34:25.695)
And at 47 years old, be doing these things, which include not drinking, working out, drinking water, you know, I could keep eating, veggies, sleep, all of it now.
Maureen Benkovich (34:25.759)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (34:33.38)
Protein, Sleep, sleep schedule, all that. We took our body for granted for so long. But thank God things are reversible, neuroplasticity, we can heal, we can change our habits, we can change our beliefs. We are empowered to do these things.
Toni Will (34:44.427)
Yes.
Toni Will (34:51.373)
We are a hundred percent we're empowered. And that's what I love about this. it doesn't, don't need to, it doesn't need to be January 1st. It doesn't need to be a 50th birthday, a 30th birthday, whatever. It can be today, a Thursday afternoon.
Maureen Benkovich (35:03.748)
Just because. Yeah. Yeah. That's incredible. I can't wait to come on your podcast too, Women In. So I love the name of your coaching business too, Mindfulness Elevated, because drinking is so mindless. That's what it is. And it's when we start becoming aware of that very painful part of the process, the awareness that I'm living outside of my values. mean, the words don't sound like that in your head. It's more like I want to stop feeling like crap. But helping people elevate.
Toni Will (35:17.75)
Yep.
Toni Will (35:30.284)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (35:33.806)
their mindfulness, what inspired you to turn your awareness and what happened to you into coaching and doing this?
Toni Will (35:41.398)
Yeah, so this is another interesting story and it's in my book too. I'll give a short version of it, but I was, I applied for a job. Actually someone tapped me on the shoulder and said, Hey Tony, we have a CEO position at our local tourism here called Discover Kalamazoo opening. And I thought of you and I'd really think you should apply. And it would take a lot for me to walk away from this job. And I was like, you know what? I'm a fan of like throw your hat in the ring and see what happens. So I did.
And out of 55 applicants around the country, I made it down to the final two. Um, it's awesome. Um, but we know, I think, well, I didn't get the job and I was six weeks alcohol free at that point. And it was one of those where I was like, I want it. It was right before Thanksgiving. So I was barry to go into my first holiday season, alcohol free. I said to my husband, yeah. I said to my husband, Josh, I think I might drink tonight. I didn't get that job. I'm really bummed out. And he goes, are you sure you want to do that? And I thought about it.
Maureen Benkovich (36:14.468)
great.
Maureen Benkovich (36:22.616)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (36:30.359)
Alcohol free first.
Toni Will (36:40.169)
And I was like, no, I don't. you know, so I gave it a little time, but I forgot in my inbox, I had this certification program that I didn't look at. And I was like, let me check into this. I'm like, you know what? If I'm not going to be the CEO of Discover Kalamazoo, I'm going to be the CEO of my own business. And so I applied and mindfulness elevated was born. And a really cool thing about that.
Maureen Benkovich (36:42.681)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (36:57.892)
yeah. Yeah.
great name.
Toni Will (37:06.561)
I decided on mindfulness elevated thank you because I mindfulness is a big part of my practice my own personal practice and I like to take things to the next level and if you shrink the letters the initials down it's me and the reason I stopped drinking was a hundred percent for me and that's why I'm mindful so it's me.
Maureen Benkovich (37:23.268)
yeah, I love that. Mindfulness of me, love it. Well, in 2025, you're releasing your book, I guess later in 2025.
Toni Will (37:32.813)
So now it's gonna, I think it's gonna be Q1 of 26. I'm lining it up with my MPOW Her conference in March of 2026. I hosted it, the conference. So I decided this too, like keynote speaking is where I'm moving next or have moved already. I do too, I love it. And so I was like, well, if I wanna speak, I'll create my own conference. So I did.
Maureen Benkovich (37:36.258)
Okay.
Maureen Benkovich (37:48.568)
Yeah, I love speaking. I love it. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (37:57.841)
We're so similar in that like even before when I first started taking Pilates and I love this, I'll become a Pilates instructor. You know, I love personal training, I'll become a personal trainer. You know, right? Like that's, that's how.
Toni Will (38:09.173)
I was a personal trainer too. Yes, I did all these things. I'm like, I'll create it. And so I created Empower her. And so I'm aligning the two to have the book come out. But a lot of it's once you submit the manuscript, I'm going with a hybrid publisher. So I've learned a lot about book publishing and all of this. And so some of the timing is outside of my control. So the manuscript I get done next month and then onto publishing the next step. So
Maureen Benkovich (38:15.885)
empower.
Maureen Benkovich (38:25.282)
Yeah, I'll have to talk to you about that.
Maureen Benkovich (38:34.862)
Well, Your Book Is Not The Norm, another great title and Empow Her, another great title. What's the message behind both of those? And they're obviously, like you said, you're syncing them together. You're kind of coordinating them together.
Toni Will (38:46.421)
Yeah, so not the norm. I can't wait for people to see the book cover. It's pretty cool. But it's, I'm not, I've labeled myself just different. And I'm proud of that. I've always been the girl, the tomboy who climbed trees and had short hair, even when I was, you know, nine years old. I'm still very feminine, but I'm just, I think differently and different. I've been married three times and I try to take the shame out of all this stuff. Josh is the last one. He's the third stop, third time's a charm.
Maureen Benkovich (39:13.06)
Mm-hmm.
Good for you, Josh. Yeah.
Toni Will (39:16.477)
work and I work in pro hockey, you know, I, my life is not normal and so not the norm. It's unique. I'm yeah. And then MPOW Her is really about, how I came up with that was actually, we had a hockey game themed focus on, it was called hockey for her, but I wanted to just make it bigger than that. I wanted to make it about empowering young women, women in general. So we changed the name.
Maureen Benkovich (39:23.5)
It's unique. It's unique. Not the norm. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (39:41.774)
Mm-hmm.
Toni Will (39:44.782)
And then I decided to name the conference, Empow Her. So when you come to the conference, it's a 36 hour event and we end it at that Empow Her hockey game. So they get, yeah, so we have a day full of speakers and it is, it's all in one room. So I call it like a boutique conference. You don't have to choose which breakout you're going to. I get the best speakers, the best content, the best experiences, all VIP, cause that's the way I roll.
Maureen Benkovich (39:54.515)
terrific. Love that.
Toni Will (40:13.929)
in my mid 40s and you get to be in my hometown of Kalamazoo, Michigan, which I'm so proud of.
Maureen Benkovich (40:19.044)
You are a good ambassador for Kalamazoo. So how do you stay grounded when things get so chaotic? mean, this is like a lot of stuff or when imposter syndrome strikes, which it does even the very best of us.
Toni Will (40:28.107)
Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. I, the more success I have, the more imposter syndrome creep in for sure. how do I stay grounded? So meditation, a daily meditation practice, a daily gratitude practice I call, I set the table for the day. That's what I, my morning routine is very sacred to me. and so what that involves is I'm literally out the door three hours before I need to be in the arena for my first meeting. So.
Maureen Benkovich (40:33.508)
Mm.
Toni Will (40:55.465)
I'm driving a 35 minute drive to the gym. I'm listening to a book. I'm connecting with friends on Marco Polo. I do my meditation at the gym before I go in. I work out, lots of water, healthy breakfast. By time I hit this desk, I am set for the day. So my day can go completely sideways, but I've done that Tony time. Yes, exactly. Now I will tell you, this is a great question and timely because this week,
Maureen Benkovich (41:16.452)
Priming, priming Tony Robbins calls it, yes.
Toni Will (41:25.069)
The last week and a half has been really challenging. I had a corneal ulcer in my right eye. had a, I have a, it looks like a heel fracture in my left foot. My dog had ACL replacement surgery, which is a huge anyways. There's been, and there's a lot of some work challenges going on. Exactly. I can't work out right now because I get an MRI done on Wednesday. And so what I'm going to figure it out. I'm going to get in the kayak. I live on a lake. I can do that. I'm going to.
Maureen Benkovich (41:41.646)
A lot going on. Life is lifey right now.
I hear you.
Toni Will (41:54.616)
tune back into hurt foot fitness. find resources where I can stay active. I can still meditate. I can still gratitude journal. And I can just actually sit in the crappy feeling.
Maureen Benkovich (42:04.332)
Yeah, which is a big skill that we've learned since letting go of alcohol, learning how to pivot and adapt and be uncomfortable, but then look for what else can we do? Yeah.
Toni Will (42:08.781)
Yes.
Toni Will (42:14.476)
Yes.
Yeah. And when I, and when I can't work out, I know you can relate to this. Yeah. I, what I do is I just tweak my nutrition at that point. Cause I got in a really bad habit when my mom died of coping with candy and chips and give me a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and some Skittles and I am a happy girl, but it, it, you know, then you feel garbage in garbage out. So I just tighten up my nutrition and I know I'll get back to it to the fitness part.
Maureen Benkovich (42:21.692)
yeah, can really eat right now.
Maureen Benkovich (42:26.424)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (42:39.746)
Mm
Maureen Benkovich (42:44.057)
Right.
Toni Will (42:46.669)
So sometimes you get off track to get back on track, but then I build that self-trust.
Maureen Benkovich (42:51.672)
Yeah, and that's natural that it happens when you start spinning out of control, then you go, wait a minute, I haven't actually been doing my morning routine, getting in my nutrients, making sure I'm on my sleep schedule. And that not always happens at like back and forth, but as long as we go back to the structure that we know supports us. So that's so good that you're sharing, even at your level of success and busyness, these things happen and you get yourself back into what works for you at the time.
Toni Will (43:05.335)
Yes.
Toni Will (43:16.843)
Yes, I, this year, 2025 in general has been a tough year. And it just, you know, when you lose a parent, it's my first parent I've lost too. And it is, it's so hard, but it's, it is part of life and I miss my mom, but I also, I don't, I don't think she's in heaven saying, Hey Tony, drink your face off.
Maureen Benkovich (43:23.266)
Yeah, it's so hard.
Maureen Benkovich (43:29.154)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (43:36.94)
No, I know both my parents are so proud of me.
Toni Will (43:39.277)
Yeah, exactly. My dad's still living. He's 82 and he's so proud of me. And you know, and I don't and my kids like they're 23, 21 and 18 and they have their own struggles. So I want to arrive on two legs. Okay. Even though one's in a boot right now. And part of those two legs is being substance free of all drugs.
Maureen Benkovich (43:43.842)
Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (43:55.022)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (43:59.109)
Yeah, that could be a whole other podcast of how you've modeled this adaptability and change for your children, because that's just massive and so important. So we'll have to talk about that another time. So you kind of answered the question that I love to ask people at the end, but what do you do to maintain or be sober fit? And that could be mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally, or all of them. You kind of answered it, but what do you think?
Toni Will (44:07.639)
So important. Yeah, we'll do.
Toni Will (44:21.825)
I, yeah, the set the table for the day is the big word. Yeah. Set the table for the day. And that's really, and the other thing I'll add to this, let's talk about the end of the day too, because I didn't have certain habits or rituals in place, like washing my face, flossing my teeth, reading before bed. And I do all that now. And so I don't know. I set whatever we want to call that. put, I like that.
Maureen Benkovich (44:24.324)
Set the table.
Maureen Benkovich (44:31.299)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (44:45.752)
Bookending, I call it bookending. You your morning and your evening, that solid structure of the bookends.
Toni Will (44:52.789)
I'm telling you what, I look better now at 47 than I did at 38. and I, more importantly, I feel better. So, that's how I, I'm a sober fit chick.
Maureen Benkovich (44:56.322)
Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (45:03.958)
You are a sober fit chick. I'm going get t-shirts. Okay. I've got a great logo where it's a woman smashing a wine glass. I don't know if you've looked at my logo, but it's pretty cool. Yeah.
Toni Will (45:06.677)
You should! I would totally wear one!
Toni Will (45:14.913)
That is so cool. When you make merch, I'm going to buy some.
Maureen Benkovich (45:18.499)
All right, SoberFit Chick. Tony, thank you so much for coming on to SoberFit Life. You've been a great guest and I look forward to being on your podcast too. Thank you.
Toni Will (45:25.95)
can't wait to have you. It's going to be so awesome. Thanks for having me Maureen.
