Maureen Benkovich (00:00.93)
Welcome back to another episode of Sober Fit Life. So what do do when alcohol keeps making you feel worse, but the world keeps telling you it's how we celebrate, it's how we connect, it's how we belong? For Mocktail Moe, it wasn't one dramatic moment, it was a slow build. By 2019 or 18, her body had made it clear alcohol was no longer working for her. That's when she finally walked away and discovered a mission far bigger than just quitting.
Since then, she's become a thought leader in the alcohol-free space and the creator of Zero Equals More, a YouTube platform all about effortless, elevated hosting without alcohol. Today, she's here to share how she's making the alcohol-free lifestyle more visible, more vibrant, and more inclusive for everyone at the table. So thank you, Mocktail Mo, or Mo, for coming on here.
And I'm so glad you're here on Sober Fitlife because this is just something all my clients ask about like, what am I going to drink? And how will I have a party? How will I serve people? So I'd love to hear all about all that. Before we get into that, can you tell us about you and take us back to when you first realized that alcohol was no longer working for you and what that transition was like?
MO (01:01.251)
Yeah. Yeah.
MO (01:15.041)
It was a long transition, but first of all, thank you Mo for having me on your show. I appreciate it. so yes, that was a very long transition. was, it was a time of discovery. And for me, I do believe that it had something to do with aging and becoming less tolerant to alcohol. And that's probably why it took me so long.
Maureen Benkovich (01:19.446)
Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (01:37.421)
Mm.
MO (01:43.331)
to figure it out, was really sort of over the course of about a year and a half because I personally was not a really big drinker. I was sort of a one and done kind of person. And it began with migraines and then it just got worse and worse and worse. And I tried white wine and thought, well, I'm allergic to white wine and then...
red wine and I'm allergic to red wine and maybe I should just never drink wine again. And I would dabble because I was afraid. I was sort of gun shy. I would dabble a little bit and the very last drink I had was an old fashioned and I was at a table with friends and then we went out to dinner after and we shared food. So we all ate from the same plates and things like that.
And the next morning I thought I was going to die. I was on the floor in a hotel room on the bathroom floor, sick. And no, I had one. I had one drink. And my friends wanted to take me to the hospital, but I was out of town and I did not want to go to the hospital. I'd asked them to drive me home. And so we
Maureen Benkovich (02:55.209)
It wasn't like you had a lot of drinks.
Hmm. Okay.
MO (03:10.745)
drove back and I went to urgent care and they thought I had norovirus and I knew I didn't because it is a highly contagious virus and we had shared food together and we were very communal in our meal and everybody would have been sick. It was just me and I had sort of wondered
Maureen Benkovich (03:30.785)
Right? So everybody else would have been sick too. Yeah.
MO (03:40.109)
What is it about drinking alcohol that's making me sick? And kind of did, ran down the old rabbit hole on that one and said, what is this? And started by Googling alcohol allergies and then stumbled upon alcohol intolerance. And that sort of, you know, the buzzers rang out and it was like, ding, ding, ding. This is it. This is what my problem is. And
Maureen Benkovich (04:00.014)
Hmm.
MO (04:09.593)
I've not been diagnosed, it's self-diagnosed, but I'll tell you what, if you get that sick with one drink, that will cure you from wanting to have more for sure. mm-hmm. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (04:20.493)
Right. But you had several episodes of not feeling well, right? you know, as I shared with you before we started recording, I've met some women that realized they didn't have the enzyme, the alcohol, dehydrogenase, and yet they said they would continue to try to make themselves drink because they were afraid of feeling left out. And what would it be like if they didn't drink? So even though it didn't make them feel well, did you have some of that?
MO (04:46.603)
I had something similar but I didn't feel compelled to drink alcohol. I felt compelled to recreate that experience of having a drink with friends and that was very, very important to me, that social aspect of life. I did not want to lose that and I didn't want to feel diminished. I didn't want to
only have the option of iced tea or club soda or things like that. I didn't want to just have a soft drink. And how Mocktail Mo started was that feeling. I did feel left out and I felt like things needed to change and I needed to change the world to suit me. So that was how Mocktail Mo was born. Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (05:16.482)
right.
Right.
Maureen Benkovich (05:35.949)
And it was amazing timing, right? Because, yeah, that was the beginning of the sober curious movement, you said around 2018. So tell us about that, like what the landscape was like.
MO (05:42.901)
It was. It was. Actually...
Well, I had just sort of started going to all the restaurants in town, in my town, and asking them, what do you offer in terms of alcohol-free things? And it just so happened that Ruby Warrington came to my town to give a talk with people. And I thought, my gosh, I can't believe that and Ruby Warrington, yay. And she was here, I know. And I met her and it was wonderful. And I thought, well, I am absolutely picking up this torch. It's worthwhile.
Maureen Benkovich (06:08.598)
Yeah.
MO (06:17.921)
If people are writing about this, it's worthwhile. Yes?
Maureen Benkovich (06:18.957)
What?
Let me pause you there. I'm going to pause for a second. Are you seeing this distortion in your picture and you're sort of going in and out? You're not seeing that? Okay. All right. I just wanted to double check with you. I'm going to edit this part out. I just want to make sure we don't keep going and it's not good. We'll just edit this part out. Sometimes with Riverside, this happens, but it's okay in the publishing, but you're like going in and out and I want to make sure, yeah.
MO (06:27.395)
Mm-mm.
MO (06:47.351)
In the final, mm-hmm.
MO (06:51.618)
Okay.
Maureen Benkovich (06:52.201)
Like right now you're fine. Okay, so we're going to pick it up with Ruby Warrington. So you met Ruby Warrington who is the author of Sober Curious, right?
MO (06:54.242)
Of course.
Yeah, of course.
MO (07:04.534)
Yes, the woman who coined the phrase sober curious. And I decided to pick up the torch from there because if it was worthwhile and she was such a bestselling author, people were interested in this. And I began there with mocktail Mo and it not very long after that, the pandemic hit and we were all shut in.
Maureen Benkovich (07:23.212)
Right.
MO (07:35.061)
And it was the most beneficial thing for me in my non-alcoholic lifestyle quest because it was then that Zoom started and everybody, I was meeting people around the world who were creating drinks. And that's where I learned about adaptogens and terpenes and what does all that mean and why would you drink it? And how does that...
Maureen Benkovich (07:39.661)
Hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (07:59.278)
Mm-hmm.
MO (08:04.153)
enhance the flavor or not. And it was fascinating. And I learned so much in those two years during COVID. yes, yes.
Maureen Benkovich (08:15.051)
Yeah, let me stop you there because that's really interesting because a lot of people drank more during COVID. And so, but for you, found it, right? And for you, you found it was really helpful to be sort of shuttered in so you could focus on this new lifestyle. And then you were seeking out all these other people and you were finding them online during COVID. That's so interesting.
MO (08:21.237)
No.
Yeah.
MO (08:38.545)
yes. No, I made so many connections. made so many friends during that time. And on Instagram, was when one-on-one interviews were happening on Instagram. And I just continued meeting people and making those personal connections within the industry and the community. And it was so amazing. was, was, soul fulfilling.
to be able to meet all of these like-minded people who had just started their journey as well. I met Mel from the Open Road Bar in Pittsburgh and fell in love with her and she was just selling and shipping beer out of her garage and now she's on her second brick and mortar. And it was just, it was such a special time to get to know these people.
Maureen Benkovich (09:08.716)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (09:12.481)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (09:20.225)
Yeah.
MO (09:38.101)
and the brands and the stories behind the brands and all of that. Sadly, I've seen a lot of them go, but a few have remained and I'm really happy about that. But yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (09:53.518)
Well, so you're really what I would call pioneer too. So you were there in the early days of this movement. What changes have you witnessed in the culture and the community since then?
MO (10:04.801)
the flavor profiles change. went from beer to juicy cocktails that were, and those unfortunately are still sort of the training wheels for on-premise. and then into more sophisticated drinks and then ready to drinks. And now you and I sort of touched on this earlier.
a deep dive into additives that are what I consider supplements that enhance either a mood or create a feeling of calmness or being energetic. I mean, I understand caffeine. Caffeine is as old as time. But L-theanine...
Maureen Benkovich (10:57.261)
Mm-hmm.
MO (11:03.019)
Ashwagandha, lion's mane, all of those things that people are adding in, kava, to help you feel calm and relaxed and to mimic the feeling of or part of the feeling that alcohol gives you. And I believe that you should be very mindful as a drinker, no matter what it is you're drinking. Because if you're drinking iced tea, you really do have to think, well,
Maureen Benkovich (11:28.045)
you
MO (11:33.217)
Am I going to stay up all night after drinking this all afternoon? But with all of those supplemental drinks, you really need to consider, am I sensitive to roots and mushrooms and kava? I had talked to a restaurant recently about adding kava to a drink and then I sort of backpedaled that because kava is not for women who are pregnant or people with liver problems or things like that.
Maureen Benkovich (11:33.537)
more caffeine. Right.
Maureen Benkovich (11:44.279)
Right.
Maureen Benkovich (11:58.072)
Mm-hmm.
MO (12:02.231)
You have to choose what you're drinking, I believe.
Maureen Benkovich (12:05.813)
Yeah, and I like that you do a lot of research. You look into this because like with any new trend, everybody jumps on the wagon and has all these alternatives. I know there's one powder supplement that I like called U-Relax. I like it because it's portable. You can take it to a restaurant, pour it into some water. It does have kava in it. And so I started researching, well, you shouldn't drink a lot of these. I mean, they're definitely good. And I think in early days, especially to have something at a restaurant.
MO (12:08.451)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
MO (12:25.017)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (12:33.069)
Yeah, I read the same thing about the liver. so I thought, okay, you to be careful how much you drink. So you're right. Anything you put in your body and you do that research. Yeah, you have to be mindful.
MO (12:38.755)
Yeah, you have to be mindful. Yeah, you have to kind of know what it is. And I think that it is sort of on the shoulders of the makers to not only hype up this super special magical ingredient that they have, but also hear their benefits of it, hear the risks of it. And I don't think that brands are
Maureen Benkovich (13:06.103)
Right.
MO (13:09.195)
really highlighting that as much as maybe they could.
Maureen Benkovich (13:12.077)
Mm-hmm, yeah. Yeah, and we talked about this before recording. There are also a lot of drinks that are adding in things like mushrooms, cannabis. And, you of course, when I first stopped drinking, people were like, well, you're gonna get high or something, right? And, right? You're gonna do something. And I did have that thought at first. I'm like, well, maybe I'll eat gummies, you know? But then I thought for me personally, that was still the same thing. It was an escape.
MO (13:23.129)
Right.
MO (13:29.806)
Right? Yeah. Why not?
Right. Right.
Maureen Benkovich (13:40.832)
It was not being present, right? So for me personally, so when these drinks are now coming out with cannabis in it, for me personally, and I ask my clients to be very mindful of thinking about why, the why behind your choosing that to drink, because are you going right back into the same pattern as you were with alcohol? So what are your thoughts on the difference between the supplemental additives versus the ones that actually do alter your brain chemistry?
MO (13:56.985)
Mm-hmm.
MO (14:11.449)
I think that just what you said, I think that you have to know your reason and choose make that choice for yourself. Is this, am I doing this because I don't want to feel this way, which is exactly why you're doing it or can I go in a different direction or no, I am decided this is
Maureen Benkovich (14:18.893)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (14:23.575)
Yeah.
MO (14:40.269)
really what I want to do right now. I do have to say that it is not easy to lead a completely alcohol-free life. It is not easy. I have become quite familiar with emotions. That, yes.
Maureen Benkovich (14:55.745)
Yes, yes, that's you have to do. You have to become familiar with all the emotions, happy, sad, discomfort. And then we live in this world where we're taught, if you're uncomfortable, take something, drink something, smoke something, scroll something, just take your mind off of it. everybody who universally stops alcohol has to go through that process of learning to sit with their uncomfortable emotions. So you're saying that, you're sharing that. Yeah, can you talk more about that? Like, what do you do?
MO (15:09.069)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
MO (15:19.477)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (15:24.642)
in those times and in those situations.
MO (15:27.881)
I time out for a second time out because I was just, I got a message about, okay, can you see me? I mean, am I fading in and out?
Maureen Benkovich (15:40.653)
Yeah, you're fading in and out. I'm a little bit worried about what the quality of this is going to be like.
MO (15:42.903)
Okay, because yeah, I just got a banner as well, but I'm good now. All right, so the question was, how do I deal with my emotions? Okay.
So I am very recently learning to give myself grace and room to deal with my emotions. I'm not sure if my job loves it, but I have come to a place where I really don't have the bandwidth to take care of.
people and things and myself. And sometimes I take priority over those things and that is very new for me. I am a person who takes charge, takes control, you know, I can take care of that. And I have gotten lost in that. And it's very recently that I have decided to take space for myself and to...
Maureen Benkovich (16:35.959)
Healthy boundaries.
MO (16:56.365)
give space for those emotions because sometimes they're stronger than I can control and I need space to be with them, to sit with my monsters. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (17:06.957)
I mean, it sounds like you're learning how to draw your boundaries, how to take care of yourself. And when we're drinking, we're typically not drawing boundaries and taking care of ourselves. So it's a new skill and a new practice, especially if we haven't been doing it. So that's so good. So then you realize that people are struggling with like, hey, I don't just want to drink.
MO (17:17.859)
Yes.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (17:28.781)
cranberry juice and soda at a restaurant and I don't want to drink with a straw in it. It looked like I have a kid's drink. So you started your YouTube channel, which is again, can you say the name of it? Zero equals more.
MO (17:40.725)
It's called zero equals more. Yes. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (17:45.579)
Yeah. So what do you do on zero equals more? Tell us what your goal is there, your mission there is.
MO (17:50.925)
Well, the inspiration of Zero Equals More was an anniversary lunch that I had with my husband. And we went to out of town for lunch. And it was this very nice restaurant. I was really excited and asked the waitress, what do you have that doesn't have alcohol? And she said, well, I can make you a virgin, Bloody Mary.
Or I can give you a virgin pina colada." And I just kept looking at her and shaking my head. then in the end, I ordered water and she walked away red-faced and frustrated with me. And I understood that. I mean, I get it. I was a problem customer.
Maureen Benkovich (18:21.453)
Yuck.
Maureen Benkovich (18:42.156)
Mm-hmm.
MO (18:47.011)
but there's not much I could do about it. She could offer all that there was to offer. So, yes.
Maureen Benkovich (18:47.413)
Well, she was... Yeah, I mean...
Maureen Benkovich (18:54.245)
Can I stop? Can I hold on there for a minute? Because I think that's really important because in the beginning of our alcohol-free journey, we feel like we're the problem customer when really we're trying to seek a healthier lifestyle. And so learning how to speak up for that and learn how to order is important. And restaurants and things are getting on board, but this is in the beginning when this stuff was just happening. Yeah, so you were kind of taking that on as you were the problem customer.
MO (19:04.131)
Yeah.
MO (19:17.827)
Mm-hmm.
MO (19:24.215)
was for her. I was. Yeah. She was feeling that way. Yeah. She wanted, well, and she wanted to give me something that I wanted and I ended up ordering water, which is what I will do because in protest, I will order water because I'm not going to pay you for a Coke because I don't want one.
Maureen Benkovich (19:25.589)
Yeah, you were feeling that way. Yeah. Right? She wanted a tip on alcohol. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Maureen Benkovich (19:42.647)
Yeah.
MO (19:49.897)
And it does not feel like a celebration. And I've had this experience with my husband. He does drink and he will have a glass of wine or a glass of champagne. And I'm just stuck there. And like I said, in protest, I'll order water because I don't want them. I don't want to drink soda. And so that was how Zero Equals More was inspired. I thought, well,
Maureen Benkovich (19:53.783)
Hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (20:11.244)
Mm-hmm.
MO (20:18.101)
I want to create a place where people can go and learn about the different drinks that exist that you can use. So it's still catching on. I have very small following, but I started with each category separately. I did a segment on spirits and a segment on beer and a segment on wine.
and a segment on ready to drink and just to help people know it's there, it exists, it's nothing to be afraid of and if you start small and simply, you could have things on your menu that someone like me and like you and like thousands of other people, if not millions of other people would really enjoy.
Maureen Benkovich (21:14.519)
Right. Yeah.
MO (21:15.466)
That was the inspiration for zero equals more is sort of an educational stop on your way
Maureen Benkovich (21:24.397)
Well, now recently you actually were at a sober in the city conference and you were showing them how to make healthy mocktails. Can you talk about that? Some of the ingredients you recommend, what kind of drinks you come up with. People always want to know that when they're talking to me.
MO (21:36.469)
I … absolutely. Absolutely. This was a master class for some of the members of their group. That was inspired by my latest experience with them in Scottsdale where I was hot and didn't realize how dehydrated I actually was.
Maureen Benkovich (21:49.933)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (22:00.941)
Ha
Maureen Benkovich (22:04.63)
Mmm.
MO (22:06.005)
except that I felt awful and I was drinking water by the liter, just chugging water and still had a pounding headache and felt bad. And then I went to this Mexican restaurant and had an Agua Fresca and it had coconut water in it and watermelon and lime. And I thought I love that combination and I immediately felt better and realized I needed electrolytes. It was not just water that I needed.
Maureen Benkovich (22:12.482)
Right.
Maureen Benkovich (22:27.708)
yeah.
MO (22:35.635)
And you know, vitamin K and vitamin C and all the things from the watermelon juice. And, so I just kind of went crazy and tried different things with that combination as the base and came up with a drink that I called the Scottsdale. And that's kind of what I do is become inspired by things. am fascinated by cocktails. Absolutely fascinated and.
Maureen Benkovich (22:58.701)
Mm-hmm.
MO (23:04.769)
I am not a bartender, although I probably would like to take a bartending class and it would be troublesome for, once again, troublesome for them.
Maureen Benkovich (23:16.663)
Yeah. Well, it really is chemistry, right? I was just talking with Josh James, the non-alcoholic bartender, and it really is chemistry. So you're devising, you've had a problem, you were dehydrated, you came up with a solution and something that was tasty and then made it into a creative cocktail. So let's just let everybody know again, those ingredients, because that sounded really good to me. What is this one called? You're calling it the Scottsdale?
MO (23:20.203)
It is. Yes, yes.
MO (23:29.913)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
MO (23:40.097)
I'm calling it the Scottsdale and it has watermelon juice, lime, coconut water, rum alternative, and chili, Mexican chili spicy syrup. So the syrup I bought, but you could make your own if you wanted to. You could put dried chipotle peppers. I've done this. Dried chipotle peppers.
Maureen Benkovich (23:51.565)
Okay.
Maureen Benkovich (23:57.354)
okay.
MO (24:06.577)
in with the sugar and the water and it's nice and spicy and smoky and really really good. So you could add that and you just add like a quarter of an ounce of that so that you don't make it really sweet because all of the ingredients have an innate sweetness to them. But that was the Scottsdale and then the other cocktail I did was margarita in
Maureen Benkovich (24:19.607)
Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (24:22.923)
Right.
MO (24:33.601)
a popsicle mold and it was margarita pops and you serve them in a rimmed glass with tahini and salt and put your margarita pop in it and it's a wonderful presentation if you had guests over and it was hot or you're having a pool party or something like that. If you make these and they're alcohol free and they taste amazing, your guests would just be delighted, absolutely delighted.
Maureen Benkovich (24:37.533)
that's a idea.
Maureen Benkovich (25:01.855)
Right.
MO (25:02.679)
with that because it's different and fun and yeah. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (25:06.411)
Yeah. Have you always been an entertainer and enjoyed hostessing and making things? Yeah.
MO (25:11.861)
Yes, I do. really do enjoy having guests over and thinking up new things to make it special. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (25:22.199)
Yeah, I think that's so important. I had a client once who hadn't been drinking for six months and she was having people over and she had told everybody it was BYOB, but last minute she really started to panic like, have to have something and I don't know what to have. And she enjoys hosting like you do and she didn't know anything creative. So she got a lot of the ready to drink ones, a lot of cans of those and people actually really enjoyed them and had a lot of conversation around them.
MO (25:43.341)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (25:48.819)
and no one brought their own wine. It was really interesting and everybody enjoyed talking about the mocktail. So it was a lot of fun.
MO (25:55.723)
It is fun. It's fun and it's very satisfying when your guests have that reaction and they often do. They kind of come in with a little trepidation and they're, this doesn't have alcohol. I'm not going to have fun. It will taste bad. And then they realize this tastes good. I don't need alcohol to have fun because I'm having fun and I'm not drinking alcohol. And often people who
Maureen Benkovich (26:05.025)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (26:08.727)
Right.
Maureen Benkovich (26:14.967)
Yeah.
MO (26:25.123)
drink alcohol, will have a mocktail and still have that lightheaded feeling, that euphoric feeling. And I think it's just muscle memory. I was just talking to people. I was at the Crested Butte Wine and Food Festival introducing alcohol-removed wines. And this woman said, well, I kind of feel something.
Maureen Benkovich (26:36.301)
Interesting.
Maureen Benkovich (26:50.891)
Ha ha.
MO (26:51.605)
And I said, well, yeah, it's muscle memory. It's your brain saying, well, I'm having this experience and this is my reaction to that usually. So it's probably just flooding your brain with dopamine and making you feel happy, but there's no alcohol involved. So it's kind of fun.
Maureen Benkovich (26:57.42)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (27:04.801)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (27:09.163)
Right, there's no negative, no downside. You still go home and wash your face and brush your teeth and wake up in the morning feeling good.
MO (27:15.735)
Yeah, you don't need a nap.
Maureen Benkovich (27:17.773)
Yeah, yeah. Oh, I love that. And so you mentioned de-alkalized wine or you called it something different. What are the ones you recommend? I know that this is a topic a lot of my clients bring up who were wine drinkers or that was their thing. And it's really been difficult to find wines that don't taste like grape juice or vinegar. Do you have some that you have now found in your research that you do recommend that you like?
MO (27:44.289)
I do. do. I Josh's Zeronimo is, I think Zeronimo is really, really pricey. is a commitment. If you want to try it, you really are committed to it, but there is a payoff. is quite good. I personally like a brand called Yours, and I think it's a blend. don't think that it's...
Maureen Benkovich (27:49.14)
Zeronimo. I'm going to look into that.
Maureen Benkovich (27:55.797)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (28:03.287)
Mm-hmm.
MO (28:13.721)
a single varietal or anything. But their red blend is really great. I really, really like their wine. The other, yeah, yeah. A lot of people don't know about yours. I don't see it very often, but I have had it and it is very, very good. The other one that I really love is Sovy.
Maureen Benkovich (28:26.717)
Yours.
MO (28:43.657)
wild child orange sparkling wine. It's very good. It's it has all the goodness of rose plus more tannins and more wine essence that you're looking for. has
Maureen Benkovich (28:47.701)
Never heard of that.
Maureen Benkovich (29:06.477)
Hmm. Okay.
MO (29:08.821)
the dry finish, has all of those things that you're looking for and it's their orange wine. It's it, I love it. love it. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (29:17.439)
Okay, that's a one to look into. I like to take something like that with me to a party. If I know I'm going to be there and I bring a bottle there and have it and again people are usually interested, let me try it and that's fun too. And then you have something in your glass which is nice. Yeah, so these are always good recommendations. You have such a bubbly personality and a positive personality but was there a time when this was difficult at all and did you get any pushback and how did you handle that?
MO (29:22.211)
Mm-hmm.
MO (29:28.729)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
MO (29:34.765)
Yeah, and it's.
MO (29:46.361)
I'm going to tell you the worst time in my life around this was, and I guess it's the emotion part. It was the only time since my alcohol-free life that I wanted alcohol. And I've told people this story often. But it was last year and my mother was dying and I was her caretaker.
Maureen Benkovich (29:49.591)
Yeah.
MO (30:16.217)
I was in charge like I am. I was in charge of everything and it was really, really, really a horrible time and it was the only time that I wanted a drink and I wanted a drink for all the wrong reasons. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to feel anything. But I knew, play that forward and how bad do you feel and I didn't want to risk that because I needed to be present.
Maureen Benkovich (30:39.67)
Right.
MO (30:45.861)
and my son was in town and we went to a restaurant and they had an alcohol removed rosé on the menu.
Maureen Benkovich (30:55.799)
Perfect.
MO (30:56.619)
And it was, it seriously, honestly, it felt like someone had wrapped their arms around me and said, it's going to be okay. And I wish that experience for anyone who goes to a restaurant and the restaurant owner manager bartender had no idea what I was going through or how they made me feel. And it was so deep and so profound and it made
Maureen Benkovich (31:01.676)
Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (31:18.733)
Mm.
MO (31:25.913)
quite a difference in my life. was so happy, like you said, to have that in my hand and knowing that I could have all of it and another one if I wanted to and I was only risking some sugar and that was it. It was great. was amazing. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (31:30.913)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (31:36.353)
Mm-hmm.
Right. Right.
Maureen Benkovich (31:44.344)
That is such a good story. Thank you so much for sharing that and being vulnerable. And I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. And I know what caretaking is like. I went through that with both my parents. I unfortunately was drinking then. it's really, yeah, hats off to you that you didn't. And it was that muscle memory of really craving that drink, those neural pathways really of this is hard and I don't want to feel it, but you surfed that urge, you got through it. And what a gift.
MO (31:50.051)
Thank you.
MO (31:57.227)
I understand, yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (32:12.247)
that you went to that restaurant and they had that alcohol free wine. No wonder why you're so motivated to have other people feel that inclusivity like you did. Yeah.
MO (32:19.723)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes, I do. That is, at the bottom, my mission is not only just, yes, you're a part of this and we don't want you to feel othered, but we want to wrap our arms around you and love you and make you feel welcome, which is what a host should be doing.
Maureen Benkovich (32:45.803)
Right. Right. And you're doing that. know, well, if someone's just starting their alcohol-free journey now, and now there's so many more options and there's people are talking about it and there's coaches and there's groups and books and everything, which is wonderful. But I still think a lot of people don't know how to host a party or how to go to a party. What would you tell someone who's first starting out? What do you recommend, you know, as far as having their alternatives ready?
MO (32:46.849)
Yeah. Yeah.
MO (33:14.937)
I recommend what you did. I recommend having a can of something that you love. OddBird, if it's wine, OddBird makes a lovely blanc du blanc, sparkling, bubbly. So if you're somewhere where you're going to be celebrating and you need to take care of yourself in that situation, take that with you. Or like you did, have a...
Maureen Benkovich (33:38.465)
Mm-hmm.
MO (33:43.223)
few different ready to drink cocktails that you really, really enjoy. And the fun part is investigating and exploring all of the different brands and tasting what you like and finding that perfect Goldilocks drink that you love. Take that with you. I recently called a restaurant and said, I'm going out with friends to your restaurant. Can I bring something because I don't drink alcohol?
Maureen Benkovich (34:11.02)
Yes.
MO (34:12.569)
And they said, Oh, don't worry. We have alcohol removed wines. And I said, well, I'm going to be drinking them. And it was great. I was introduced to a new brand. I loved it. And it was happy. But if you're taking care of yourself and you want to make sure, um, find, explore, do the fun legwork and find that thing that you like a lot, take that with you just in case you may be pleasantly surprised.
Maureen Benkovich (34:20.16)
Yes.
MO (34:42.403)
Just in case, take that with you.
Maureen Benkovich (34:45.805)
Yeah, I love what you pointed out because that is self-care. Drinking wine is actually not self-care, but what you did is you thought about it, you pre-planned, you called ahead, you asked the restaurant so that you knew if you had to bring something or not. And that was just so smart thinking it all the way through. And when we were first starting this out, that's so important to do those things. And really that's the beginning of drawing boundaries for yourself, taking care of yourself. And you did all those things. And those are such good...
MO (34:49.623)
Yeah. No.
Maureen Benkovich (35:15.371)
recommendations. Yeah, I really like that. Yeah. Well, I always liked it. Yeah.
MO (35:17.849)
Absolutely. That way you're not a bother. You're not the trouble customer. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (35:26.219)
Yeah. And also, but you're really taking care of yourself too. You you're bringing what you need. And I often find, I've had some times where the host or the manager will say, can I try some of that? And I had a sommelier come over and say, can I try that? And, you know, they talk about it. They're interested. I think bartenders want to make good non-alcoholic drinks for you. They just need the right ingredients. So you're helping to educate people about what's really out there. Yeah.
MO (35:29.761)
absolutely. You are.
MO (35:39.138)
Right.
MO (35:47.363)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
MO (35:53.443)
Yes. Yes. Yes, make it fun. That's the whole point. Yes. Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (35:56.106)
and make it fun too. Yeah, that is the whole point. We can connect, we can have fun and feel really good about it. And you can check out Mocktail Mo's zero plus, I don't know why I can't say this right. Zero equals more. Zero equals more. Yes, I love that. I like to ask people on this podcast, what do you do, Mocktail Mo, to be sober fit? And I fit,
MO (36:11.289)
Zero plus more. Yes, yes, yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (36:25.545)
In this context for me always means whether that's physically, mentally, spiritually, or all of them emotionally, what do you do in your sober lifestyle to increase or improve your fitness or maintain it?
MO (36:39.049)
I like to do new things, whatever it is. I like to try new things and have new experiences and, whether it is trying out a new brand or product that someone has put out or taking a road trip somewhere or whatever. Those, those are things that I do to stay sober fit.
I'm exploring. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (37:09.771)
I like that. And what brings you joy and fulfillment outside of your alcohol-free advocacy work? What else do you do?
MO (37:19.467)
travel. I love traveling. I love no matter what, if it is a short distance or a long distance, I really like to hit the road and see new things. You can't tell I'm a Gemini, right? It's hard to tell. I like new things. like to, I like exploring new places and, and seeing how people live and it's just, it's
Maureen Benkovich (37:27.373)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (37:34.635)
Yeah.
MO (37:49.315)
Fascinating and I love it. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (37:51.372)
And now you do it with an alcohol-free twist, which we have to give a shout out to Sober in the City because that's a way for you to travel, meet other people, like-minded people, and see cities and have alcohol-free experiences. Do you want to just share a little bit about Sober in the City? Okay. I do too. I haven't gone yet, but I love them.
MO (37:54.017)
I do.
MO (37:58.808)
Yes.
MO (38:09.017)
I do. I love them. I love them.
Peg and Susie are amazing human beings and it did start with a dinner party, I think. And it has expanded to different locations across the country where, like you said, like-minded people can come experience and enjoy each other's company and without the need for alcohol.
Maureen Benkovich (38:19.724)
Mm-hmm.
MO (38:44.313)
still have the drinks, drink well, no alcohol. And it's so much fun because all of the edge is taken off with meeting new people. You already have a commonality and you sit around and talk to these strangers and you're all nodding and saying, yeah, me too. And it's so much fun. It's so much fun. The last one, the one in Scottsdale where I was roasting from the inside.
Maureen Benkovich (38:56.557)
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
MO (39:13.653)
was a really amazing experience. It was very spiritual and I don't think it was intended to be. I think it just sort of evolved and turned into that. It was fantastic. Their next one is in Colorado. I think Colorado Springs and I think it should be just as exciting, just as much fun.
Maureen Benkovich (39:14.669)
you
Maureen Benkovich (39:33.483)
Yes, Colorado looks really nice.
MO (39:40.833)
It's really great. The one in Florida, in Tampa, they had a lot of authors and you got to talk to people who had written these books and it was a different experience and just as lovely. But this last one was very spiritual, very, very healing. It was wonderful. I love them. I love what they do. They make traveling fun. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (39:48.909)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (40:01.665)
Yeah, I think and they're growing every year. They're getting bigger and more speakers and more workshops and just fun. yeah, definitely a shout out to Sober in the City and Peggy and Sue and Mocktail Mo. So thank you so much for coming on here and sharing your wisdom. Everybody check out her YouTube channel. We're going to put those drinks, those alcohol-free drinks that you mentioned in the show notes. So if anybody wants to look them up.
MO (40:14.583)
Mark Tellman.
It is my pleasure. Thank you. Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (40:30.087)
and learn how to be a good hostess, check out her YouTube channel. So thank you again, Mo, for coming on.
MO (40:34.328)
Yes.
Thank you.
