Maureen Benkovich (00:01.025)
Welcome back to Sober Fit Life everybody. Today's guest is Karla Adkins, an alcohol freedom coach, also certified with this Naked Mind and co-owner of Zero Proof Life, and they just launched a podcast. Karla is also an author of a book called She Came Tumbling Down, where she shares her powerful story of what started as using alcohol to manage her anxiety and yet led to serious health consequences, including alcohol-related liver disease.
but her journey didn't end there. She turned everything around and now helps others break free from alcohol and reclaim their wellbeing with honesty, compassion, and a whole lot of courage. So I'm so excited, Karla, to have you here today, to share your story, to help other women who are so often, like we were both, drinking for anxiety or just drinking because everybody else was doing it, and just to share your story about what can really happen. So thank you for being here today.
The Zero Proof Life (00:55.347)
Absolutely, I'm so excited to be here with you Maureen. I really am. Thank you for having me.
Maureen Benkovich (01:00.521)
Let's just kind of start with your story if that would be okay with you. When you were drinking, what was that like? And then when did you start to realize that something was wrong?
The Zero Proof Life (01:11.052)
You know, as we were talking a little bit before we got started just around our age and everything, you know, I just turned 49 and back in the day, you know, when I was growing up, just really, if I look back, I just really glamorized alcohol, know, romanticized it. It wasn't like if I was going to drink, it was like when I got to drink one day, you know, that type of thing.
Maureen Benkovich (01:15.552)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (01:37.023)
yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (01:38.414)
And so what I felt like it was pretty normal quote unquote drinking, because everybody did. you know, drinking in high school, not much. I mean, when we would go to parties, again, it seemed very normal in my mind. And the very end of high school when I was a senior and then going into college is where I really started struggling with anxiety.
Maureen Benkovich (01:45.815)
Yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (02:06.118)
I had my first few panic attacks and one was while I was driving and another was what at another big event and it really rocked me those panic attacks. It's so fascinating. They're so physical. had no idea. I've heard, I heard the word. But also speaking of time back then people really didn't talk about anxiety. No, well, one I totally thought it was.
Maureen Benkovich (02:27.36)
I was going to say, did you even know what was happening? Okay.
The Zero Proof Life (02:33.282)
something wrong with me physically because you know, panic, especially those intense panic attacks are so physical, the dizziness, I felt like it was like a horrible bout of vertigo, the sweating, the shaking. And my aunt struggled with anxiety. So I had someone to kind of educate me and talk to me about what that was like. it was so, you know, beautiful that I had her, still had no idea what to do with it, but quickly saw what...
Maureen Benkovich (02:34.678)
Right.
The Zero Proof Life (03:02.762)
anxiety and panic can do in people's lives. I describe it in the book as, you know, it's the exact same as alcohol, anxiety, like it started with these very intense, specific situations, but then soon kind of weaved its way into all aspects of my life. And really when I went to college is where it really peaked and heightened and I really struggled. I learned, I was starting to
live my life around my anxiety and those people that struggle with about the panic attacks or anxiety will totally feel this like when you're in that situation what happens is you then avoid that thing because your body then says hey that place is dangerous danger and mine just happened to be at the grocery store and i always mention the grocery
Maureen Benkovich (03:52.896)
danger.
The Zero Proof Life (03:58.392)
grocery store because I am not alone in that fact. And I didn't learn that till way later on. I'm sure thinking about it as a 19 year old, I was so ashamed of that.
Maureen Benkovich (04:01.153)
Interesting.
Maureen Benkovich (04:10.775)
That's what I going to ask you. So the shame, you're having this happen to you, you don't really know what it is. You start feeling shame. When did you link drinking to calming yourself or, you know, about medicate yourself, I guess.
The Zero Proof Life (04:15.447)
Yeah!
The Zero Proof Life (04:22.498)
Right? And that is, if I look back, it was in college where I had this experience of, remember like going out, for example, and being really nervous about this, you know, party we were going to, because at that point it was impacting me socially too. drinking and automatic feeling better. And I thought at the time, like, this is great. Like I get to, I get to drink and it fixed me.
Maureen Benkovich (04:26.647)
Okay.
The Zero Proof Life (04:52.216)
per se, I felt great and went on to, you know, think I had a great night or whatever. But that is like in looking back is where I felt those two things go together and a thousand percent. And yes.
Maureen Benkovich (05:03.703)
So that neural pathway was formed then and got stronger as you continued. what happened? How did it continue?
The Zero Proof Life (05:14.572)
Right? it, and so it only strengthened and it only then, and again, I wasn't at that point to just to be clear, like probably to the outsider, my drinking still looked somewhat normal. mean, I was definitely, listen, those that know Clemson, I went to Clemson, I worked at Tiger town Tavern. It was a dangerous place to work. my gosh. I remember. Okay. Yes. Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (05:38.847)
I went to Penn State, so I hear you. I mean, I know exactly.
The Zero Proof Life (05:43.36)
I was a waitress there, so I don't want to be misleading. It was definitely a part of my life. But it's not like at that point I was saying, OK, I have to go to the grocery store. I'm going to drink. It wasn't that strongly connected. But I can see back. That's where I attached it to. This will help me. I can drink and it will make me feel better. I hadn't yet incorporated like, OK, I'm going to, you know,
drink before speech class because I'm having a payment attack. It wasn't there. It definitely, there was an evolution, but the start, that hook was in college and.
Maureen Benkovich (06:23.415)
Well, it's always so important to be able to look back on the other side of alcohol. I can look back and see the strong ties, the connections, the neural pathways I made and when they started. But when we were in it, we were young, we were metabolizing alcohol better, we were doing what everybody else was doing, but then it progressed. So what did that look like as it started progressing throughout your life?
The Zero Proof Life (06:34.839)
Yes!
The Zero Proof Life (06:45.166)
Well, and then, you know, again, to the outsider, I then out of side of college, college had a very successful professional career. You know, I was, I did many things, but I ended up in pharmaceutical sales. So I was, there we go. I was out and about and, you know, just doing my thing. And so in the work world, I was successful, you know, getting, you know, promoted and doing things, but
Maureen Benkovich (06:59.755)
Me too. Yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (07:14.958)
I, the anxiety, I was becoming riddled with the anxiety and yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (07:17.687)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, let's just stop there for a second because I was a pharmaceutical sales rep. It's like a high pressure position. You're trying to stop doctors in the hallway. know, they don't really want to talk to you, right? You got your pitch. I found that all very anxiety producing as well as your bosses coming to ride with you. Back then they used to anyway. And then also all the whining and dining of doctors. So did you find that helped increase everything? Yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (07:25.624)
Yes.
The Zero Proof Life (07:40.589)
Yes.
a thousand percent, a thousand percent, you know, the whining and dining, taking them out to do stuff. Another component of my drink that I want to add was, you know, I have what I think they now call it like benign essential tremors. So I have a small tremor to my hand. And obviously when I'm anxious, that tremor that is there all the time gets heightened. And I remember, and this was actually in...
This was when I was a pharmaceutical rep. I went to a neurologist because again, you know these doctors. So I'm thinking, my gosh, there's, you know, I'm finally going to get an answer and fix my hands. And just because that was also a cause of a lot of big social anxiety. Sitting down at lunches with doctors or trying to hand out my thing to get signed everything. And I was so self-conscious. my gosh, I was so self-conscious. And I'll never forget.
Maureen Benkovich (08:32.656)
yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (08:39.81)
waiting forever to meet with this neurologist and he asked me, told him about my hands and he first question asked me, well, does it go away when you start stop when you drink? So does it do the shakes go away when you drink? And I was like, yes. And his and I was like, my gosh, he gets it. And he just goes, well, then why just drink? And I remember, yes, wanting to crawl in because they will because medical studies show benign essential tremors. And this is we're not talking about
Maureen Benkovich (08:49.473)
Wow.
Maureen Benkovich (08:57.858)
my, the doctor said this, the neurologist, wow.
The Zero Proof Life (09:08.558)
tremor of post-drinking tremor. This is a tremor, like it's just, it's there all the time. There's nothing physically wrong with you, but it's, you know, it can really impact you socially. But it does show that alcohol will reduce the tremors. And so for him, and already at that point, back in my subconscious, I was worried about my drinking. I didn't, I didn't like it. And so for him to say that, I just...
Maureen Benkovich (09:31.051)
Mm-hmm.
The Zero Proof Life (09:37.41)
wanted to crawl in a hole and I'm like, no, like I can't, I don't want to do this. It's not serving me or I just, was, I felt like at that point I was starting to kind of lose control of things, but I was single.
Maureen Benkovich (09:49.525)
Yeah. Yeah, but so there's that cognitive dissonance, right? Here you are in your subconscious knowing, I'm drinking too much. I'm kind of concerned about this. You go to this doctor and instead he says drink more. So part of he's like, okay.
The Zero Proof Life (10:01.842)
exactly. So one part of me was scared. The other was like, well, thank goodness I can keep drinking. And it was like getting permission, you know, to just drink. He's like, well, then just drink a beer, like just drink. And I'm like, no, I don't want to do that. you know, it obviously it, I always tell people alcohol does is alcohol and it's at the end of the day, very predictable.
Maureen Benkovich (10:07.03)
Right?
Maureen Benkovich (10:10.38)
Yes.
The Zero Proof Life (10:26.732)
The important moral to the story is it's not predictable in how it impacts us physically. I think it's so important and it's why I share my story. Because people want a recipe of like, how much were you drinking? Like give me the number. They definitely want the number. And I never, always say this because I would have been the one asking. Right, what?
Maureen Benkovich (10:42.529)
Yeah. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (10:52.587)
Yeah, I was. I would Google it. You know, how many drinks, you know, means that you have a problem. Yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (10:57.388)
Yes. And especially once I got sick, it's like, what caused that? Because I'm just going to stay away from what she does. And that's just not, yeah, I want to stay at it. So again, professionally, I was still functioning. Meanwhile, it was just getting worse. I saw myself kind of shrinking away from the world because I would blame everything on my anxiety.
Maureen Benkovich (11:05.781)
Right. I'll just stay right under that limit.
The Zero Proof Life (11:24.278)
And also the confusing part here too, Maureen, is that, you know, my anxiety was very physical where, I mean, I've made me feel physically sick. So a lot of people ask, well, how did you know when you started to get sick? What did that look like? And again, there's not a crystal clear picture because it really mirrored what was, it looked like anxiety, know, GI issues, you know, really horrible, you know, GI issues, the anxiety.
Maureen Benkovich (11:30.743)
Mm-hmm.
The Zero Proof Life (11:53.41)
the horrible like panic and anxiety. And I always just said, that's my anxiety getting worse. Never, never putting two and two together that alcohol was making it worse. I, when I was drinking, I would have told you with every, every ounce of my being that alcohol was the only thing that helped me. Like I, I was the only thing that helped me.
Maureen Benkovich (12:19.063)
Because short term, in the moment, it felt like it. Because chemically it does, yeah. But then the backlash, what happens, we didn't know about that. Yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (12:22.734)
I remembered that it did. Yeah. And so I was...
We know we didn't know and I remember being honestly like at the back and pretty shocked by that. Now again, Heinz perspective now, you know, I should have been able to put it together. But here's the thing that I think the world needs to also realize we are being sold alcohol 24 seven.
I, you know, one of my luxuries at night is picking up just a fictional book. Some people out like coaches like I'm reading this like intense, like self-help book. I'm like, I'm reading some of what I don't want to think about. I want to check out at night. But what I do think is so interesting, even reading these little books, these messages, we are constantly being the beliefs around what alcohol does. Think about it. You know, I deserved, you know, the drink at the end of the hard day.
Maureen Benkovich (13:01.175)
Take a break. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (13:08.819)
yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (13:18.549)
Mm-hmm.
The Zero Proof Life (13:19.094)
or was getting ready for my date and had the, you know, my wine. It's always very, you know, romanticized, a beautiful picture.
Maureen Benkovich (13:27.019)
Yeah, I mean think about every show, every movie, even in literature like you said, I always think of Sex and the City because that really glamorized it. you sophisticated women who have it all going on, know, fashion, cosmopolitans, I think that's when they became so popular. Yeah, and so we really bought that.
The Zero Proof Life (13:29.218)
Every ship.
The Zero Proof Life (13:32.887)
Yes.
The Zero Proof Life (13:36.963)
Wait.
The Zero Proof Life (13:41.354)
The cosmopolitans, yes. And even professionally, right? Work people, you should be able to handle it all. And so it is so hard when you've got this belief, stress, the world is going to tell you, my gosh, you want to relax, have a drink. So when I'm struggling with anxiety, it is like you're going against a belief that started.
Maureen Benkovich (13:57.121)
Yeah. Yep.
The Zero Proof Life (14:05.486)
Way before I ever took my first sip of alcohol. So there was already beliefs formed there, like of just what I was told by the world. And then I had that connection of thinking it helped. So it is really hard, you know? And I think people look at others like, oh, I mean, just stop. It's, yeah. Right, right, no.
Maureen Benkovich (14:08.405)
Right, of course.
Maureen Benkovich (14:17.879)
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Well, that's why I just wanted to say to you, I've got to stop because you even just said, I should have put it all together, but how could you? You didn't know. You didn't know until on the other side of alcohol and you learned all this just like I did about the brain chemistry and the physiology and the science and how it really affects us. But that's why so many people aren't putting it together because the marketing is so strong and pervasive in every aspect of our life.
The Zero Proof Life (14:47.094)
It's everywhere. And how many times have you heard family members? I'm sure my own, but I hear it all the time. If they loved me enough, they would just stop. It is so much more complicated than that. And we have to start understanding the different nuances. And again, like you just said, I didn't have that until now, like at the hindsight, number one, there had to be a lot of healing that came in, then learning the science and all of that. And only now can I then,
Maureen Benkovich (14:54.495)
Right. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (15:03.937)
Yeah. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (15:11.893)
Yes.
The Zero Proof Life (15:14.37)
get understand and then have the grace and understanding to understand what the heck happened. Like why didn't, why couldn't I just stop? And,
Maureen Benkovich (15:14.975)
Look back. Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (15:22.071)
Well, let's go back to your story for a second, because I want to make it clear. You were what we call a gray area drinker, right? So on the outside, you have it all together. You're working. You have a family.
The Zero Proof Life (15:31.117)
Right.
Right, I would definitely not. would. I was definitely a hider. I wouldn't categorize myself as a gray area drinker. I wouldn't put myself there. I think I was just person that was good at spinning the plates and. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (15:47.765)
Well, that's what I mean by gray-haired drinker. So someone who, you know, you don't look like the typical person in the gutter, but you're feeling shame about your drinking, you're worried about it, you take some breaks at some points, but you always go back to the drinking. That's, Yes.
The Zero Proof Life (15:55.725)
Yes.
The Zero Proof Life (15:59.953)
Yes. Yes. Oh yeah. 100%. And that's another thing. I remember giving up for Lent. That was always my confirmation that I didn't have a problem because I stopped. I unfortunately didn't put that together because I remember my body, like I feel great and look great after the 40 days, but then I went straight back to drinking. But to go back to my story, it just ramped up and I'll never forget, you know, I was, I knew
Maureen Benkovich (16:05.557)
Yeah, exactly.
Maureen Benkovich (16:17.269)
Yeah, of course. So when did you, what, when did you, yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (16:28.918)
I knew at some point, I want to tell a specific thing and this is where it's always, this again brought up a lot of shame for me just to share it and I shared in my book and I actually shared it in a big group that I was coaching in first and I was so glad that I did because afterwards I got all these messages from people saying, my gosh, I did that too. And it just speaks to that whole cognitive dissonance that we talk about. Like on this deeper level, I knew there was.
Maureen Benkovich (16:48.279)
Hmm.
The Zero Proof Life (16:56.884)
something going on, but the upper, I just couldn't, my actions couldn't go there. just, couldn't, and I, so I started doing this thing when I would leave for work again in the morning. So getting up and leaving for work, I would in my rear view mirror in my car, I would check the whites of my eyes. And again, because I had picked up from somewhere and probably my Google searches, am I an alcoholic? Like all those Google searches that I did, you know, I knew the liver.
Maureen Benkovich (17:24.14)
Right?
The Zero Proof Life (17:26.914)
And I knew you were in trouble if you start any kind of yellow. And they talked about the whites of your eyes. And so clearly, subconsciously, there was a worry there, you know, of what I was doing and there's something wrong. And it was just this, I've heard the term bone chilling before, but I only experienced it truly in this moment. I'll never forget it. And not because I was sitting there and I saw yellow. And it was just, again,
Maureen Benkovich (17:36.299)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (17:45.771)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (17:54.017)
Wow.
The Zero Proof Life (17:56.034)
bone chilling, this throughout my body was fear because I
Maureen Benkovich (18:00.545)
So let me just get this picture. you like literally are doing this. You check your eyes. Most of the time they're clear. And then the one time you look and you're like, my God, they're yellow.
The Zero Proof Life (18:04.43)
Yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (18:08.342)
And it was, and then of course I look again, praying that I'm wrong, but it was clear as day that there was yellow. It was so clear.
Maureen Benkovich (18:15.733)
Was there something before that though? Like anything with your stomach or gastrointestinal issues or? Okay.
The Zero Proof Life (18:19.254)
yes. Like I said, the GI, so I mean, upset stomach all the time, I would get sick a lot, but it again, all of that was very anxiety. That's what my anxiety looked like in college even. So it was very married. And so that's what really muddied the waters. And so sometimes people will ask me like, what are the cues? And I'm like, it's so interesting people that I talked to.
You will, like you'll go to every doctor out there. So I went to a GI doctor, you know, again, I went to that neurologist that one time I went to my doctor, like I'm not feeling good, but it was always around the anxiety. There's this, they're like, well, there's this going on with your stomach. They never really asked me other than the form, how much I was drinking, which again, that's not all there. I wasn't telling the truth. So I mean, no, so.
Maureen Benkovich (19:00.119)
Right.
Maureen Benkovich (19:05.729)
course, no, most people don't. Most people don't.
The Zero Proof Life (19:08.95)
I was not giving them that piece to the puzzle that they would have needed. So I would say the flags are your body does show signs. We just so quickly, Maureen, will say, it's this or it's that, we'll point to another direction. And that's the thing, because you can, until you see the yellow, then the yellow, see, that's where I really had to face the music and go, wait a minute, there's something wrong with my liver. But true to my fashion, because this was the thing.
Maureen Benkovich (19:11.157)
Right.
Maureen Benkovich (19:22.928)
yeah, I did.
Maureen Benkovich (19:31.253)
Yeah. Yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (19:38.426)
I was gonna just keep moving. I was just brought up where you pick yourself up and keep trudging through. I'm gonna fix this. I'm gonna make it right. It just so happened I was in a friend's wedding that weekend. How I did this is beyond me, but again, shows my issues of not being able to say, help me, I'm not okay.
And also looking back, didn't know, but obviously it was clear when I was trying on my bridesmaids dress, was very like all of a sudden nothing fit me in the middle. And I of course then blame the seamstress or whatever, because there was no way I could gain that kind of weight in the short amount of time. What I didn't know at the time was that fluid, there was fluid starting to build on my belly, which again is goes to a side, all this medical stuff. But of course I'm not thinking that.
Maureen Benkovich (20:21.623)
Hmm.
The Zero Proof Life (20:34.262)
So there were signs like that. But I kept like, when I get through this, I'll tell everybody like I need help. I definitely knew I was going to do that. At this point too, I was definitely very sleepy and honestly not drinking a ton. And that's the thing that people need to understand too. Like your body just starts to shift. it's like I, there was, it was clear there was a problem.
It definitely helped that I was surrounded by doctors. My boyfriend at the time, is now my amazing husband, is a doctor and he knew. And so he and another dear friend right after the wedding took me to a local emergency room. And that is where I watched my body. It was like all the spinning, like everything.
Maureen Benkovich (21:25.239)
Mmm.
The Zero Proof Life (21:27.49)
where I just kind of let go and the yellow, like it then was spreading all over my arms. Like it was, things were bad. And so it was very acute, very intense. And again, still hanging on to my story, very tight. Maureen, couldn't, I was so scared of people actually finding out what happened. Meanwhile, the doctors are asking me all these questions. They then, of course I'm telling them that I'm of course not drinking.
all that much it has to be something else. I think because of who I was with, they just said, okay, you can leave. We've got you somewhat stable, but we need you to go get blood work in two days. That is, you're promised us if we let you leave, then you need to go. And so again, my friend, they're both and my boyfriend, they're of course are promising, we'll make sure. So they're like, good, just make sure she gets her blood work.
Maureen Benkovich (22:04.055)
Mm.
The Zero Proof Life (22:23.02)
That is again where I still to this day is just the chilling because I was not getting better. I was again not working, not and not drinking. So people think, then you're drinking. But then you can I tell my story because sometimes you can only push your body so far. And then there's a point of no return. I was already I was at the point of no return. My liver, my body said I can only do so much and I can't do this anymore.
My friend took me to a local lab place where I proceeded to, I mean, I didn't even, I was starting to not even look like myself. Like it was, even to the lab person, I was jarring just that greenish yellow. Yes, because then, you know, again, I also learned y'all, our liver does so much for our body. my God, it is so, no, you can't, you can't take it for granted.
Maureen Benkovich (23:07.041)
So once you saw your yellow eyes, it happened pretty fast. Then, okay.
Maureen Benkovich (23:16.491)
Right. We take it for granted. I know what we did, right?
The Zero Proof Life (23:22.476)
Right, absolutely. And so the sight is then is really accentuating. My belly's just growing. I don't know what's happening. I'm like, go back home and I'm sleeping. My phone is ringing like crazy. I recognize the digits to be to the hospital that is like an hour from me. And this was truly the, again, the next bone chilling moment. And it was...
a doctor and you know doctors they'll have critical labs. So you go get the labs and you know typically you hear in a few days of what's going on but when someone has an acute issue like the doctors get alerted right away obviously. So I get and it's still to this day makes me cry Maureen. It is crazy like it was just such a pivotal moment moment in my life because she made sure you know who it was and she said are you okay?
Maureen Benkovich (24:10.358)
Yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (24:19.118)
And I said, I don't think I am. I feel like I'm dying. And she said, you are, I think you are too. And it just was this, it took my breath away. Again, it was that next, the next level of all the plates falling. Like I'm not going to be able to fix this. And then she said, cause that's, I'm from this teaching hospital and it's a big hospital in Charleston, South Carolina, the medical university.
Maureen Benkovich (24:26.583)
Whoa, I just got chills from that.
Maureen Benkovich (24:32.919)
Yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (24:47.678)
South Carolina and she said if I need you to get to the hospital now if you can't get here I'm gonna be sending an ambulance to you and again that was the next whoosh of like just think how serious right right I had to call my parents my poor parents and they lived close by they came over immediately my
Maureen Benkovich (25:01.995)
This is serious. You're like, can't be in denial anymore. I am dying.
The Zero Proof Life (25:13.954)
boyfriend left work, he came immediately and that's where again, where I was in liver failure. My liver was not working. And again, here's the thing y'all, is it obviously gets to the hospital, but then it's a waiting game. then in these moments, there's really nothing they can do. They can do these certain things, but they can't make your liver start to work again. All it was at this point, because you're so acutely sick is just
Maureen Benkovich (25:43.319)
Hmm.
The Zero Proof Life (25:44.588)
you know, let's do like again, try and hydrate, try and do all this, you know, try and do those basic things. But all it was was we got to wait to see if those girls liver starts back. If not, I was gone like that. There was nothing they can do. You're gone. Like, I was there, I believe, for 12 days. But again, I, I
Maureen Benkovich (25:56.023)
time.
Maureen Benkovich (26:01.537)
How long were you in the hospital?
The Zero Proof Life (26:08.942)
They had the pastor come. Like it was my sister's come. I mean, I think about that to this day and you know, my sisters, know, they of course, it was the family members that were worried about their drinking, but they like, they had to have that conversation with my family. We don't know if she's going to make it out of here. And so, and at this point I need y'all to hear me. was, God was that, I was 36 years old. I was a baby. Oh my gosh. I was,
Maureen Benkovich (26:15.543)
Are ya?
Maureen Benkovich (26:37.409)
when you think you're invincible. Right? Right.
The Zero Proof Life (26:38.998)
Yes, because I did. mean, how long did I say like, I'll stop one day, I'm young, I'm working, I'm doing all this stuff. And that could have been gone. And I really want people to hear that because, years from then, and even in my coaching, and I wrote about this woman in my book, and there's a picture in the back just dedicated to her and to a few other people that have been in my life.
that are no longer there. And I remember seeing this woman, Maureen, and she was coming to me to talk about alcohol. And my gosh, I just saw my face and her face. Like I knew, like you saw the inflammation. You saw that kind of glassy eye look. And she was in the middle of, you know, really stressful time in her life. It was intense. Yeah, a lot going on. So she said one time, and she said,
Maureen Benkovich (27:18.807)
Yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (27:33.218)
I'm gonna come back to you when this is over. Like when I get this, you know, divorce out of the way, when I get all these really big acute things out of the way, I'm gonna come back and we'll tackle this drinking. And I remember I was so glad I said it because I just said, I said, please don't, I said that it's truly like a game of Russian roulette. Like I got the chance, like my liver started back.
that time. Like thank goodness it slowly slowly but the numbers started to improve and my liver said okay we can do this again.
Maureen Benkovich (27:55.511)
Thank God.
Maureen Benkovich (28:03.831)
Okay, so you're in this massive wake up call. You don't know if you're going to die. 12 days in the hospital, your liver, thank God, probably youth was on your side, starts to come back. So at this point, mentally, are you making the connection that the drinking has to stop? Like what happened?
The Zero Proof Life (28:07.18)
Yes. Yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (28:14.818)
Yes.
The Zero Proof Life (28:21.902)
Oh, that's the, and again, this, is the hardest part. Cause I of course said I'm never going to drink again, but I had no attachments, no thing, nothing to say how to do it. Like how to actually stop drinking. And I will tell people, like, if you get my book, please do. Like, and if you read any of it, you could just stop at the prologue. It's written by my physician, like at the time and um,
Maureen Benkovich (28:35.639)
Mm-hmm.
The Zero Proof Life (28:51.8)
Her name is Dr. Loretta Joplin. She's still in my life. And actually it's super cool. The afterword is written by another female physician that is just a superstar in my life that took care of me afterwards. So was so amazing to have these physicians write the bookends of my book, you know, the beginning and the end, because that's where they showed up in the story. But if you can just read that, it is a...
Maureen Benkovich (29:08.001)
Right.
The Zero Proof Life (29:16.034)
jaw stopper in because she writes of just her perspective of being a hepatologist and being a physician and knowing We sent her out into the war into the said guess you don't you can't drink again Send her you send you on the way when you have Zero tools and zero anything of the wherewithal of how to do that other than start going to meetings go to meetings and you'll do this
Maureen Benkovich (29:34.113)
Right.
Maureen Benkovich (29:39.447)
Yeah, I just want to stop you there because that's so important because even well-educated doctors, experts in their fields don't have any idea about what it takes to stop drinking. You know, and that's all we knew was go to meetings, right?
The Zero Proof Life (29:50.732)
No, have. Well, exactly. And again, we have to remember doctors are not immune to this exact same messaging. They've been, yeah, they've been told the same messages. And she said, I mean, she said in that beautiful piece that she wrote in the beginning was saying they are, they doctors do, they, they will, even the hepatologist, they see what the alcohol is doing. They will leave.
Maureen Benkovich (29:58.961)
No, a lot of them are drinking too. Sure. Of course. Yes.
The Zero Proof Life (30:18.306)
the stressful day and go home and hit the bourbon bar. Like they don't have the attachment of what's happening. was written to by someone that I went to high school with, that's a physician, just a beautiful message. Cause she said, thank you for writing this book because I myself put myself in check of going, wait a minute, here I am at the end of the day and then I'm going to go home and drink. I don't like this. So we had a beautiful conversation around that. And I love that.
Maureen Benkovich (30:23.605)
The disconnect. Yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (30:45.623)
Well, let me ask you now then how do you talk to women about alcohol health related issues and the shame that holds us back from seeking help for our health, stopping drinking for the health of it. And how do you talk to them about that?
The Zero Proof Life (31:00.866)
Right. Well, you know, again, I always share my story because like I said a minute ago, I tell them I don't want them to be me. And I think it's so important. And that's why I feel a sense of responsibility to share my story, to talk about it, to be. We need more healthy faces on the other side to talk about, you know, like I'm sitting here looking at you like again, the fit and healthy.
Maureen Benkovich (31:05.291)
Mm-hmm. Powerful.
Maureen Benkovich (31:23.02)
Yes.
The Zero Proof Life (31:29.706)
And to understand, wait a minute, we need to start, we need to put the defenses down because first of all, people's defense mechanism goes up anytime you talk about alcohol. We have to start being, right, we have to start being really real about what this stuff is and what it's doing to people's bodies. We just have to have that conversation, especially because what is happening. I mean, it is killing people in droves. That is no joke. And it is that the...
Maureen Benkovich (31:37.309)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, don't touch my alcohol.
Maureen Benkovich (31:53.781)
It is.
The Zero Proof Life (31:56.056)
biggest number of people that that's happening to is young women. And so this is no longer, you know, a man's disease. They're seeing it more and more often and it's young women.
Maureen Benkovich (32:08.503)
And women are being targeted to as far as advertising too. Literally the marketing people were like, we're missing this entire group of women. Let's go for the mommies and the mommy wine culture and the young, sophisticated working woman. And then like we were talking about before we started recording, your age group, my age group and up are still partying like it's 1980, right? So yeah, women are absolutely being affected in droves.
The Zero Proof Life (32:11.681)
yes!
The Zero Proof Life (32:16.908)
Yes!
Yes!
The Zero Proof Life (32:26.796)
Right? Absolutely.
The Zero Proof Life (32:31.532)
And I want people to know too, like I want you to be angry. They are targeting you with purpose. And we had a really powerful coach in my training class and she gave a really powerful speech, but she was in the alcohol industry. And she said, she said, I was way up in that world in the alcohol company and we would have meetings on how to get the young women, how to get in the thing that
Maureen Benkovich (32:36.609)
Hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (32:56.631)
Mm-hmm.
The Zero Proof Life (33:00.96)
stunned us all the most because you just think there's no way. She was like, they're finished with you. They're not even marketing to you anymore. They want the young people. They want the, when can we get them as early as possible? And that is how she said, we, how, how do we get the 13, 14 year olds? And that, yeah. Then she said all of that is purposeful. The little can, the little poppy drinks, the little, you know, pretty can, they are not selling to you. They're selling to your kids.
Maureen Benkovich (33:10.199)
Mm.
How early?
Maureen Benkovich (33:18.999)
Make them tasty, put them in those white claws.
The Zero Proof Life (33:30.956)
And that just floored me. And so I want them to hear it. And she said, we have top psychologists. This is not, you know, just like, hey, let's make a plan. They are very intentional and they know what they're doing. So please don't think you're immune to it. I know I probably would have, but I honestly want us to all get angry and be like, wait a minute, let's just like you're being sold a lie. And
Maureen Benkovich (33:32.971)
Wow. I want everybody to hear that. Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (33:55.179)
And I think that can also allow people to give themselves the grace to go, wait a minute, I'm being targeted, I'm being marketed to, of course I didn't understand, but now there is so much more information, you know, and there are coaches and there are organizations and there is so much more, you know, so you can get informed.
The Zero Proof Life (34:01.101)
Yes!
The Zero Proof Life (34:06.019)
Yes!
The Zero Proof Life (34:10.328)
There's so much more. And that's what I hope keeps spreading more. People are becoming aware, because that's what I do think we need to do a better job of. The medical message is getting out there like, hey guys, this, can't like, you know, the American Cancer Society, we can't, you know, recommend this at all. Like all this thing, which actually ends up scaring a lot of people. So we need people to know, okay, there's other things. And because I always want people to hear me loud and clear.
Maureen Benkovich (34:17.644)
Yes.
The Zero Proof Life (34:38.958)
I love that there's AA out there. I love it. I think it's amazing. It is so easily accessible. It's out there, but I desperately want people to know there's multiple other avenues as well. Even podcasts, like podcasts like these. Like I remember I held on so tight when I was newly alcohol-free, I found podcasts and I was like, oh, I just couldn't get enough. It's where I started to learn. And yes, and I was
Maureen Benkovich (34:41.111)
Mm-hmm.
Yep, me too.
Maureen Benkovich (35:03.457)
Yeah, bring it in, bring in your brain. You literally are changing your brain chemistry. Your brains are neuroplastic as you know, just sharing this with the audience. So by taking in the information that is helping to change your brain and fight against the chemical changes that we have been causing to ourselves by drinking. So take in the information. It does make a difference.
The Zero Proof Life (35:10.946)
Yes!
The Zero Proof Life (35:25.524)
It does. that's, I think that's probably one of the biggest message I want people to know. Like, I wish I had known at the time when I was in the height of it, that life could be what it's like today. Like there was also a message that was told to us that you're then going to crave this stuff every day of your life. my God. I was like, that sounds miserable, like terrible. And you know, you and I were actually just talking about this before jumping on here.
Maureen Benkovich (35:44.779)
Yes.
Terrible, right?
The Zero Proof Life (35:54.722)
Y'all, the neuroplasticity is so real and it is so beautiful and you will watch yourself go through these intense situations, fun situations, like you name it, like celebrations, hard times, you name it. And I still to this day, you know, I'm well into 10 years now of being alcohol-free and I'll walk away from those situations and I will say every, I'm so glad I'm not drinking. I am so glad because you see yourself.
Maureen Benkovich (36:13.781)
Incredible. Yep.
Maureen Benkovich (36:22.389)
Me too.
The Zero Proof Life (36:24.598)
show up in ways that you never thought possible and you're so thankful for that clear head, you know, that your mind, your nervous system is, you know, yes, confidence. I'm just, you know, I was masking, I always was who I am, right? Like I always was this person and alcohol was just dimming that light and making me small and made me think I wasn't capable of anything.
Maureen Benkovich (36:30.465)
Mm-hmm.
Confidence?
Maureen Benkovich (36:49.823)
I love how you say that alcohol is dimming your light and making you small because I think it really does make us small, especially as women. And so this is such an important message. I want to ask you, And She Came Tumbling Down, the name of your book. How did you come up with that title? I can imagine so many, but I want to hear your words.
The Zero Proof Life (36:52.535)
Yes.
The Zero Proof Life (37:09.17)
I think it was the idea of as soon as I wrote it down, like I knew it was it, kind of gave me one of those moments that it kind of gave the description of what happened. And a few times in this podcast, I gave that description of kind of like in the plates came falling. I wanted it, it was this picture of the woman that like I'm pretending that I've got it all, like I've got it all together. If I don't have it, then I'm gonna make it work, I'm gonna push through.
Maureen Benkovich (37:14.806)
Hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (37:25.771)
Yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (37:38.304)
And eventually that doesn't work and you just come falling down and that was the picture of what happened. And you know, in the book, I think it's important to see, I write about the buildup, I write about the real thing of what it looked like. And then I write a little bit about what it's like to walk away from it. I just want people to have hope and I want them to understand, especially because
Maureen Benkovich (37:53.463)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (37:58.231)
So good.
The Zero Proof Life (38:03.092)
I do feel a sense of responsibility. am someone that has a diagnosis of cirrhosis, which I would have thought was, you know, a death sentence when I first got it. It just doesn't have to be that way. And, and, and also there's just a beautiful life on other side of it. So I want the people also because there's so much shame, we could have a whole other podcast around of shame and because that was stifling for me.
Maureen Benkovich (38:11.563)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (38:26.438)
and shame.
The Zero Proof Life (38:33.062)
And I want people to know even if you've been diagnosed with something, you know, liver related, it is okay. It is, it is okay. And it is highly resilient, but you do have to stop drinking, you know, you do. I mean, it's you, you have to stop drinking, but there's so many different ways to do that. And it's finding the right space. I think, you know, having a community is really important. A community of people that you can talk to and use, you know, the language that you use that works for you.
Maureen Benkovich (38:44.267)
Yes. Yeah.
The Zero Proof Life (39:02.126)
and finding those people and doing the work. And it does, it requires work, but it is. But let me tell you, the body, and I think I'm sure you saw this too, your body thanks you and there are so many rewards on the other side.
Maureen Benkovich (39:02.902)
I do too.
Maureen Benkovich (39:06.955)
It is work.
Maureen Benkovich (39:17.111)
Yeah, and we were talking about your body, thanks you. But also as we age, our bodies are going through other things. I have a bad back right now I was sharing with you and I can only think, thank God I'm not drinking this inflammatory toxin that would only make everything worse. It's hard enough to age, right? Stuff we go through and just removing that substance removes so many issues. I'm not painting it, you know, like rainbows and unicorns. I'm just saying we're not adding this inflicting inflammatory agent to our bodies.
The Zero Proof Life (39:23.341)
Yes!
The Zero Proof Life (39:30.284)
Right? Right!
The Zero Proof Life (39:44.3)
Right, well, because it's also, yeah, like I described it earlier, like how it muddies the waters for, you know, I'm the same, I'm 49. I am stepping into this whole perimenopause, like my body, it's trying to figure this whole thing out. But I'm not, I don't have alcohol on board that's mudding the waters as to what is going on with my hormones. So when I go, you know, to get everything checked out, I know it is what it is. Alcohol disrupts so much and you're actually,
Maureen Benkovich (39:49.356)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (39:55.206)
yeah.
Maureen Benkovich (40:01.611)
Exactly.
Maureen Benkovich (40:12.18)
Everything.
The Zero Proof Life (40:13.414)
doing yourself a disservice because you might have something legitimately going on but you're not going to see it or it thinks it's something else and so removing that and clearing your body is such a gift.
Maureen Benkovich (40:25.355)
Yeah, so this is about taking care of yourself. This is about, you know, changing, we often say your relationship with alcohol for your health, not because alcohol is, you know, we used to just say, well, alcohol is bad and that's all we knew, but I'm going to drink it because I'm young and I'm having fun. Don't take my alcohol away from me, right? But now we're so much more educated and informed. So you care about your health. Most of these people that are listening, work out, eat right, go actually to extreme measures to do those things, but we're putting in a toxic.
The Zero Proof Life (40:53.197)
Yes.
Maureen Benkovich (40:54.727)
agent every night. So just hear this, hear Karla's story. It's so important. Get her book and she came tumbling down. You can also find her at The Zero Proof Life and soon or it's already starting your podcast, Good Zero Proof Life podcast. So check out Karla. I know I could talk to you for a long time. I love this. Yeah. Thank you so much for being a guest on Sober Fit Life.
The Zero Proof Life (41:07.958)
It started, yeah, the Zero Proof Live podcast. Yes, we need to have you on, Maureen. So we'll continue our conversation on that.
same.
Maureen Benkovich (41:21.963)
What I like to always ask people is what do you do to be sober fit now?
The Zero Proof Life (41:26.742)
so many things. Well, one thing that I have picked up that is new is pickleball. So getting out and moving my body and doing that and stretching myself in that way. But also I see sober fit in a different way because again, because I did struggle with anxiety, I do things to really help myself in a healthy way to stay calm. And I see that as part of being fit as well. And so I crack up, I, you know, so
Maureen Benkovich (41:44.107)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen Benkovich (41:52.331)
Yes.
The Zero Proof Life (41:56.312)
I think moving my body is one of those things, but also learning how to just be and just be calm. And I just picked this up, Maureen, and it cracks me up to even say it, but I started cross stitching. A dear friend of mine taught me how to do it. It is the most relaxing thing. I just sit there and it helps me for the times I do. I want to check out and I want to decompress. I'll just pick up the thing and start stitching and it's...
It's really nice. those were two new things that I started doing that I just love.
Maureen Benkovich (42:25.315)
yeah. Yeah, fit in, you know, in my definition in this podcast is all-encompassing, mental, physical, spiritual. So I love that you pointed that out. So again, thank you, Karla, so much for being on here and I look forward to getting on your podcast and talking more and everybody check out Zero Proof Life.
The Zero Proof Life (42:33.314)
Right?
Right.
The Zero Proof Life (42:41.933)
Yes.
The Zero Proof Life (42:45.784)
Thank you, thank you for having me.
Maureen Benkovich (42:47.457)
Thank you.
